Guarding Daisies
by MrsMellark74
Summary: Katniss Everdeen (Mellark) seems to be the girl to take on all of her fears head on. With two rounds of the Hunger Games and leading an all out rebellion, it seems like there is nothing she can't do. However now Katniss is faced with her greatest fear of all. With the help of many friends, family and of course Peeta, follow the journey of Katniss' first pregnancy.
1. Chapter 1

**AUTHORS NOTE: (IMPORTANT): ****Hello everyone! I am back and so excited to be here with this new story for you all. This is a sequel to my first fanfiction "Diary of a Mockingjay." However it is not 100% necessary for you to read that one to enjoy this one. Unlike my first story this will NOT be all journal entries I have written multiple dialogue scenes for this story already. However there will still be some of Katniss' journal entries to give you a deeper perspective on her inner thoughts. (Ex this first chapter is a journal entry and the next chapter posted will be an actual dialogue scene). This is the story of Katniss and Peeta's first pregnancy so I really hope you enjoy it. Please feel free to comment or message me any suggestion or comments you may have. I was planning to post this tomorrow but with the Catching Fire trailer coming out, I think I will be to occupied with that! Anyway, I am so thankful for all my readers and hope you guys really enjoy this story. I am pretty proud of it so far! SO without further ado, Guarding Daisies...**

Today is the second Thursday of the month, and I was supposed to begin my cycle two days ago. Peeta and I have been trying for a baby for the last three months and now, it seemed to finally be becoming a reality. Every night for the past two days I go to bed preparing for my cycle, but in the morning, wake up to realize that it is still not hear. I am so excited about the possibility of bringing a child into this world, for not only myself but for Peeta. He has been desiring children before we were even married. Just thinking about the possibility of Peeta taking on this role melts heart. I always have imagined him as a caring, loving and nurturing father. He takes such amazing care of me, I try to comprehend how he would raise our children.

However I would be lying if I said I was completely confident in my ability to parent our children. My past has left deep scars which leaves me feeling that I would be unable to properly give them the care and affection that they need.

My deepest fear in all of this, is losing another person I love; a person who depends on me. I don't think I am mentally able to do that again. Peeta is always reminding me that the horrors and injustice are over now, and that our home is safe; that it is a good place to bring children into the world. I know he is right, he usually is, I just can't seem to escape my own fears of the past.

As I am about to turn 35, the doctors are sure to remind me that my biological clock is ticking. I am not longer in my twenties making it even harder to conceive. I know I can not let my fears control me much longer. As hard as it is, I have to remind myself, that we are ready for a baby.

So hear I am, in my bedroom poring out my feelings into this journal preparing to take my first pregnancy test. I didn't tell Peeta I was doing this because I didn't want to get his hopes up for nothing. He wants children so desperately that it almost didn't seem fair to lead him on only to possibly bring disappointment. Yet I have decided that despite my fears I am ready for children. I am ready to take care of and love a child once again.

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**I hope you guys enjoyed this first chapter, in case you don't know I like to keep my journal entries short, But have no fear the dialogue seen will be much longer. It will also be posted within the next few days! Also special thanks to my wonderful beta3 **


	2. Chapter 2

My hands were shaking as I reached for the pink plastic stick resting on the bathroom counter. I have to hurry because Peeta will be home any minute. However this test seems to be running on a different time crunch. I quickly run into the bedroom and look out the window above the street. I can see Peeta carrying a bag of baked goods, making his way home. I dash to the bathroom and grab the pregnancy test. As I examine it, I can see the results clear as day. One line; not pregnant.

I hear the front door open as I begin to take in the shock of not being pregnant. I must admit, I am a little more upset than I originally had thought I'd be.

"Katniss, I'm home!" Peeta hollers as he slams the front door closed.

"I'll be right down!" I yell back, as I begin to disguard the evidence of the pregnancy test. I then run down to greet my husband.

He is smiling as he spots me and has the usual flour splats throughout his clothing and hair. I smile and make my way over to greet him.

"How was work today?" I ask, embracing him into my arms.

"It was good; pretty busy for a Thursday though." He replies placing a gentle kiss on my lips and setting down his bag of goodies on the kitchen counter.

"So what did you do all day?" He asks as I sit at our small breakfast table.

My heart begins to race as I ponder some excuse to cover up the days true endeavors.

"I went to the woods in the morning, then did some garden work this afternoon." I reply, smiling to myself; proud of how clever my answer sounded.

"The woods?" Peeta questions. "It's not Friday?"

Not so clever after all. It was stupid of me to think it would be that easy to decieve Peeta Mellark. My hunting days are always saved for the weekends.

"Yeah, umm, it was so beautiful this morning, I just thought I'd get an early start." I reply trying to hide my fib.

"Oh, that make's sense, it is really nice out." He responds, leaning in to place a kiss on my forehead and then heading upstairs for his routine after work shower.

I keep my composure as he walks upstairs. As soon as he's out of sight, I let my body collapse on the couch. I feel upset that I lied to him that way. However, I know it is for his own good. If I would have let him know about my missed periods and pregnancy test, he probably would have skipped work today to stay with me. Not to mention the hopes he has come tumbling down due to the fact that I am not pregnant.

About ten minutes later, I hear the bathroom door close and Peeta begin to descend from upstairs.

"Katniss, is there something your not telling me?"

I turn around from my seat on the couch to see Peeta bare chested, in loose pajama pants, damp hair, and a very confused expression on his face. Aside from his confusion, I can't help but think how attractive he looks in this moment.

"Umm, I don't think so." I respond trying to understand what he has found out.

"Really...then do you want to explain this to me?"

I turn towards my husband to see him holding a white piece of paper. I am grateful that he did not find the pregnancy test, so I walk over and take it from his hands; the gratefulness fades. I am staring at the directions for the test.

"I'm guessing this belongs to you, or is there something else I don't know about?" He continues.

"No, uhmm, it's mine." I reply, trying to avoid the disappointment in his eyes.

"I can't believe you were keeping this from me Katniss!"

As I begin to defend my choices, he turns from me and marches up the stairs. It is clear how much I have hurt him, so I follow him as he enters our bedroom.

"Peeta, I'm sorry I should have-"

"Yeah Katniss, you really should have! I just can't believe you would keep something like this from me!" He shouts.

"I know and I'm sor-"

"You know how much this means to me! And it's my child too! Not just yours!"

That's when the tears begin forming in my eyes and I can feel my face becoming hot. "That's just it Peeta! There is no child! I'm not pregnant!" I yell at him as I drop onto our bed.

The room goes silent as the tears spill over my cheeks. I curl up onto my bed because not only am I disappointed that I am not pregnant, but I know Peeta must be feeling much worse.

After a few moments of silence, I feel the mattress sink in as Peeta sits beside me and begins to rub slow circles between my shoulders. His touch immediately calms me like it always does. It lets me know that despite everything he is here for me, and more importantly, loves me.

"I just didn't want you to be disappointed." I choke out through my tears.

"Sure I am disappointed that you're not pregnant, just like you are, but thinking I am disappointed in you because of it...Katniss, I think you know me better than that." He tells me as he brushes the tear soaked hair strands from my face.

"With that being said," he continues,"I am disappointed that you kept this from me."

"I know you are," I start to say, "I just hate seeing you hurt; especially over something you want so badly. You and I have been through enough hurt in our life time's Peeta."

"It's been almost fifteen years now since we have been married Katniss. The good, the bad, and the ugly; we're in this together." He says as he lays down wrapping his arm securely around my waist.

"Together." I say smiling.

"Together." He replies.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you, I was being stupid. I'll tell you right away next time."

"Next time?" he questions.

"You didn't think I would be giving up that easily did you? I thought you knew me better then that." I kid, mocking his earlier words. "Plus,I think we'll have a pretty good time trying." I add.

Peeta laughs, and with that, he kisses me.

The next morning, I wake up to see that my cycle has finally come. I take a slow breath because this truly silitifies the fact that I was not carrying a child within me. I am somewhat surprised by how much I truly wished that plastic stick showed two lines. I walk out of the bathroom and take a few pills for period cramping.

"Next month, things could change." Peeta says, as I exit the bathroom.

I smile because I know he is right. This was our first time and I really shouldn't be so concerned. I walk over to him and he hugs me.

"Here." says Peeta. "I wanted to give this to you, to symbolize the journey of our family."

I step back as he places a chained locket around my neck. I thank him and place a gentle kiss on his lips.

My eyes scan the locket and I see it is engraved. On the front of the heart shape, it reads the word "family".

"Open it." Peeta tells me.

As I latch open the heart, I see that it can fit two pictures inside; maybe of our children someday. The inside, however, is also engraved with the words, "is always."

"Family is always." I say.

Peeta smiles as I let the heart locket rest on my chest, over top the spot where my actual heart would be.

"I can't wait until we have faces to place inside." adds Peeta.

"You are giving me so much more then you will ever know Katniss. I can't wait to be a father, and whether you know it or not, you will be a fantastic mother." He continues as tears begin forming in his eyes.

I pull his body back against mine and bring my mouth to his ear.

"Your own father would be so proud of you Peeta."

"As would yours." He replies, resting his head on my shoulder.

At this moment, my father enters my mind, and I realize that Peeta is right; I know my father would be proud.

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**I hope you guys enjoyed this, and be gracious because this is was first Everlark dialogue scene EVER! But I will have plenty more to come! Thank you guys for reading and stay tuned for the next entry :)**


	3. Chapter 3

I lift the wooden spoon to my mouth and taste my creation. It needs a bit of pepper I feel. I have spent my afternoon in the kitchen making dinner for Peeta and I; making stew from the game I caught this morning and a salad with greens from the meadow. Peeta and I can definitely afford the meat and vegtables from town, but to this day, I still prefer my own catches. It is something I have done all my life, and something I can't seem to change. So much is my life over the past years have changed; some for better, some for worse. It's a bit of normality that helps keep me tethered to this world.

Today is a special occasion. It has been a month since my last pregnancy test and I was eager to try again. I told Peeta this morning that my period was late, but I also promised that I would wait until he returned home from work before taking the test. We both had a inclination that this time would be different. I find myself anticipating Peeta's arrival home; I am excited for the both of us. Just as I set the last plate on the table, Peeta walks in the door. No matter how many years go by, the smile on his face when he walks through the door and spots me, never changes.

"Wow! Someone went a little over board!" Peeta says as he adds a basket of cheese buns to the table of food I had already prepared.

I smile as he leans in to kiss me; something else I am grateful has never faded.

"You must be hungry." I state as I scoop some greens onto both of our plates.

"How could I not be with this feast before me." Replies Peeta in a chuckle.

"It's really not much." I add, sounding modest.

As Peeta and I take our first few bites, I am satisfied with my meal. This stew had to be one of my best. But if I'm being honest, my mind is somewhere else, and with one look at Peeta, I can tell that his must be as well. We're both thinking of the pregnancy test and the possibility of me having to eat this meal for two, not just one. However, I know my husband all to well. There was no way he was going to rush away from dinner after I spent all day creating it. I know this meal much be practically tasteless to him with only one thing on his mind. I see his knee bouncing under the table with anticipation and with that, I can't help but laugh.

"How's the food?" I ask trying to hide my giggles.

"Oh, uhm its great!" Says Peeta returning to reality. "You did a great job Katniss."

"This food isn't going anywhere Peeta." I stand up and tuck in the chair, referring to the upstairs where that test was awaiting us both.

Peeta face breaks into a smile.

"Was I that obvious?" He asks.

"No, I'm just your wife; I know these things." I reply laughing and reaching for his hand.

I can see the excitement begin to rise in Peeta's face. We don't walk, we run to the stairs. When we reach the stairs, Peeta takes them two at a time and I am worried he will fall. His grip on my hand tightens and I also fear he'll take me down with him.

"We're not going to get anywhere if someone wipes out!" I holler at him.

Peeta chuckles, "I know I'm just excited. I have a good feeling about this one Katniss." He says, slowing down his pace slightly.

When we enter our bedroom, I pull open my sock drawer and spot the white box right away.

"Ready?" asks Peeta as he lets go of my hand.

"I hope so." I reply, placing a soft kiss on his cheek and head to the bathroom.

I shut the door and Peeta takes a seat on our bed to wait for me.

When I am done, I rest the plastic stick that contains our future down on the counter. It will take a couple minutes for any lines to appear, so I open the door and find Peeta pacing around the bedroom.

"How'd it go?!" Peeta questions immediately after I open the door.

I snicker at his boyish-like anticipation.

"Now we wait." I tell him.

Peeta lets out a sigh and collapses onto our bed.

"Only two minutes." I add as I sit on the bed next to him brushing the blonde hair from his eyes.

"The longest two minutes of my life." He says taking my hand in his.

And its true; Peeta and I sit in silence through the longest two minutes ever. We don't say anything because there is nothing to say. We both know the goal and that we may be closer than we think in achieving it. Peeta kisses my hand often because I keep tightening my grip on his fingers. It never leaves my mind that I may become a mother, and Peeta a father. You hear often about people who are just born to do something; I feel that Peeta was born to be a father. He is so loving and caring and knows how to be protective without being overbearing. Soon I become so caught up with my thoughts that I don't even hear Peeta tell me that the two minutes are up.

"Katniss come on," he pleads, "I can't wait any longer."

I agree easily because really, I can't wait much longer either. I never let go of Peeta's hand as we get up and step towards the bathroom. Right before he grabs the door knob, I hesitate because my heart is beating so hard, I think I can hear it. I am even more anxious this time than I was last. It is most likely due to the fact that last time I wasn't planning on Peeta finding out any bad news, but this time he has a front row seat.

Peeta gives my hand a reassuring squeeze and kisses my temple. I smile at his actions and grab the doorknob myself this time. I see the plastic white stick resting on the counter and take a slow, deep breath before pulling Peeta along with me. We stand over the counter and my eyes scan the test so desperately looking for two pink lines. Peeta releases his breath first, followed by my sigh.

One line; not pregnant.

Peeta pulls me close to him as he tries to hide his emotions from me. It's useless of course; his eyes are able to tell the stories his lips will never. We stand there together, holding each other on the bathroom tile that is cool against my bare feet.

"I'm sorry Katniss." He says cautiously, as I listen to the steady beat of his heart through his white bakers shirt. "This isn't the end of the road." He adds in a reassuring voice "We can't give up here."

With that, I lift my head from his chest and look up at his blue eyes that are not as bright as they usually are.

"Give up?" I question "Katniss and Peeta Mellark giving up; I don't think that's possible." I smile at him trying to lift the spirits in the room. Peeta chuckles and presses his lips against mine. I take in the moment as our lips move perfectly together, just like they always have.

"I love you" He tells me.

"I love you too." I reply looking down at my locket and smiling up at my husband.

Despite our first two attempts, Peeta and I surely do not give up. How could I quit on him now anyways; despite everything we have been through. I surprise myself as well when I begin taking frequent trips into the empty bedroom in our home specified for a nursery. The room has a panel of windows on the back wall that look out to the a small forest behind our home. Constantly mockingjays are seen gracing the branches and I can't help but feel that this room would be perfect for our child to sleep and grow; listening to their songs. I envision a bright yellow room, with a mural painted by Peeta on the opposite side. I see brown baby furniture and a wooden rocking chair in the corner. Here I would gently rock my baby to sleep; keeping it safe from any , these calming visions do not last long because our next three attempts with the pregnancy test fail just like the previous ones. I begin losing hope in my ability to carry children.

Spring turns into summer in the district. The air is warm and many parents take their children to the parks or lake because school is out. This only adds to my negative feelings because more than anything, I want to be one of them. I want to take my child to the lake and watch Peeta laugh while chasing him or her through the sand.

By mid-afternoon, I have yet to get out of bed while Peeta is still at work. It takes every ounce of energy to rise from the warm covers I am wrapped around. I look out the window and see a gray sky. It looks like it could storm at any given moment. I place my feet on the ground and start to walk. For some reason, my brain drags me to the empty nursery.

When I open the door, it seems darker than usual because there is no light to shine through the many windows. I don't bother to turn on the light. I walk straight to the window and force my body down so that I am sitting right below the window ledge. I curl my knees in towards my chest and let my horrible thoughts take over.

My brains is wracking with so many frightening visions about my children. This must be my punishment; my true punishment for not being able to take care of Prim. Why should I get to have children when she won't even be given the chance? Now Peeta must also suffer because of my past. Sometimes I question why Peeta even stays with me. It took fifteen years for us to even reach this point.

Just as these thoughts enter my mind, I hear Peeta walk through the door, but I don't even bother to go and greet him. I just keep wracking my brain with these thoughts.

I'm sure there are hundreds of girls in town who would have loved to be with Peeta. His handsome looks are one thing, but his personality and way with words can melt just about any heart. I'm sure he would have multiple kids by now if it wasn't for me and my fears. My body shudders at the thought of Peeta being with anyone else but me. I can't help the hate for the Capitol that begins to enter my brain again. I'm sure I would have never had any of these reservations if it wasn't for them. Suddenly, the most terrifying thought enters my brain.

Peeta opens the door as the tears fall from my eyes.

"Peeta, what if it's their fault!" I scream; my face burning with tears. "What if they altered me to be like this? Or you or both of us? What if they did something to make it impossible for us have kids?" My hands cover my eyes at the thought of the Capitol taking that from me many years ago, when it wouldn't have even mattered. I had been unconscious so many times on a Capitol operating table that it definitely would not have been a hard task for those doctors to accomplish.

Peeta sits next to me and puts his arm around me gently. "I don't think they would have done that Katniss. In fact, I think us having children was something they were going to enforce whether we were desiring them or not; if it wasn't for the rebellion of course." he adds.

I think back to when I was told I would have to marry Peeta whether I wanted to or not; before I was even sure of my feelings; if I was even sure I loved him in that way; how I was only seventeen years old. I'm sure if they could force us into marriage at the time, forcing us to have children isn't too far off. It does seem illogical to remove that option from me if that was their intention.

I breathe a sigh of relief; thankful that Peeta's words have reassured me once again.

"I don't know what has gotten into me Peeta. I just want this so badly and I feel like I'm at fault."

Peeta's concerned face turns into a smile and I am suddenly confused.

"What?" I question.

"It's so good to hear you say that," he begins to say, "To hear that you want kids so badly."

I smile in response. I imagine it must feel pretty victorious in Peeta's mind after all those years of convincing.

"But I don't want you to worry; I stopped into the clinic after work, asked a nurse if there is anything we could could do, and she told me not to worry; that sometimes it takes couples a year of trying in order to conceive." He tells me as he rises and pulls me to my feet.

It instantly feels like a burden is taken off of my shoulders; to hear that what is happening is completely normal.

"Thank you for being so patient with me." I tell him.

"That's what husbands are for." He responds.

Peeta takes my hand and leads me downstairs where we eat bakery roles with hot chocolate, which doesn't seem to last long. Peeta scoops me into his arms and leads me to our bedroom where hopefully six will be our lucky number.

It almost feels like hours; like I have spent countless hours in this exact spot in our bathroom, standing over the white counter tops; our future depending on a cheap plastic stick. By now I have very little hope for this test because the previous ones were definitely not in my favour. After a minute, I leave the bathroom because I don't feel like standing around to only be disappointed again.

I walk into our bedroom which is connected to the bathroom and strip the sheets and comforter off the bed. I remake it, placing the sheets back on top of each other, and tuck in the edges. I finish by stacking the many pillows and fluffing each one out. By this point, Peeta is standing in the doorway looking at me. I know the results must be in, but I don't want to be informed about another failed attempt. I can see through the corner of my eyes that Peeta looks a bit pale and teary eyed, so I tend to a basket of laundry to avoid the negative test.

"Katniss." Peeta calls out for me, rather gently.

I don't respond; just continue folding.

"Katniss." He calls me yet again.

"Yeah,yeah Peeta I know; we will try again next month." I say, because I already know the drill. I have heard Peeta's same reassuring words five times already.

"I don't think that's a good idea." He replies, catching me off guard.

"Peeta, I know we have been struggling with this, but I don't expect you to give-"

He cuts me off. "Katniss, welcome to the mommy team." He says holding up the pregnancy test with two, bright as day, pink lines.

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**YAAAY! Finally an Everlark baby is on the way! I hope you guys are enjoying this so far! But PLEASE leave me a comment and tell me your thoughts! Special thanks to my friend Carlie for stepping in and Betaing this chapter for me! I have soooo much more in store for you guys so make sure to stay tuned! As always, thanks for reading!- For updates follow me on twitter- TributeGirlEmma ...PS sorry this was kinda short, I'm still new at this so my next dialogue scene should be longer:)**


	4. Chapter 4

Journal Entry 

It is strange to think that when I place my hand on my stomach, there is a growing and living being inside me; a child who will be born from me; a baby that Peeta and I have created. This is so far from the plan I set for myself almost twenty years ago. I planned on living a life in the Seam, with Prim, until she was old enough to go off on her own; maybe get married herself. I personally was against ever getting married or having children of my own. I also never planned on going through everything that I did; surviving all that I had; losing all of the people that I've lost. I never in my wildest thoughts and dreams pictured the life that I have now.

District 12 has become a bright and peaceful city after the rebellion. Strong, new buildings have been created; parks and activities for families; hospitals and schools. There's a market where anyone can go to purchase their own food. We are free to live where we want, marry who we desire, and have children if we so please. None of this was part of my plan, yet when I sit back at look at where I came from, I realize for the first time in a long time, I'm happy.

A week ago, Peeta and I went to the doctors to confirm the pregnancy. According to my doctor, I am now three and a half weeks pregnant and our baby should be born sometime at the end of April. Peeta held a tight grip on my hand the entire time, and I couldn't seem to take my eyes off of him as his face became brighter with every word the doctor spoke regarding our baby. After an ultrasound, the doctor handed Peeta the pictures. At just over three weeks old, the only image was a tiny circle; no arms or legs yet. But this tiny circle brought my husband to tears. I watched as a tear fell from his blue eyes and landed on my hand. I knew this was the greatest gift I could ever give to Peeta.

However, all these positive aspects do not seem to mask the fear the overcomes my body. When I sit outside in the garden, I think about my child running around through the flowers; not knowing the true meaning behind their stories. How will I ever explain to my children the things I have been through? At night I lay in bed while Peeta is sound asleep next to me, rest being the farthest thing from my mind. All I can think about is raising this child, and how I will ever explain to them the horror that was The Hunger Games.

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**Thanks for reading everyone. I hope you guys are enjoying! I have some chapters that I am working on that I think you all will really like so stay tuned! Thanks to my friend Carlie to stepping up to Beta this for me!**


	5. Chapter 5

When I wake up from my sleep, I assume it must be morning, yet when I check the clock it is only five in the afternoon. At ten weeks along, I am tired the majority of the day. My doctor says it's completely normal, however for me, this is worse than any morning sickness. While lying in bed, my thoughts often get the best of me and while sleeping;my nightmares. I have too much time to think about bringing a child into this world. I have too much time to think of Rue and Prim and all the loved ones who were taken much too soon. I know I can't handle losing another child that I love. The thoughts seem to be suffocating me, so I pull the covers over my head and hope sleep brings me peace.

When I wake, it is clear that my sleep was not peaceful. My nightmares were filled with children transforming into mutts; strong leopard-like mutts that had one target; my child.

Suddenly, my face breaks out in a sweat and I can feel heat overcoming my body. It feels like I have bricks sitting in my stomach and throat; I dash for the bathroom. What I managed to eat for lunch today makes a reappearance as I heave into the toilet. Within no time, Peeta has heard my struggles and is behind me holding my hair and rubbing my back.

"It's okay, Katniss. I'm right here." He says reassuringly.

Despite his efforts, the heaving continues until I have nothing left to come up. My body feels even more drained then before. There is a pain in my chest and tears in my eyes. Peeta helps me to my feet and opens his arms for me to walk into. However, I ignore his offer; not wanting to be touched at this moment, and walk over to the sink. I look into the mirror and notice my greasy, matted braid, signifying that I haven't showered in a couple of days. I splash my face with cold water and brush my mouth out of the foul taste. I tuck some stray hairs into my braid and turn back to Peeta. This time, I open my arms to him, and he quickly steps into them; not even thinking to side-step my offer the way I did his.

"I'm a mess." I state, nuzzling my head into his shoulder.

"I was thinking it was more of a pregnancy glow." Peeta chuckles, trying to bring up my mood.

I allow myself to relax in his arms and laugh, thankful again for his words.

"A shower wouldn't hurt though. You have been in bed for three days now." He adds.

"Is that the Peeta way of telling me I stink?" I ask him sarcastically.

"No, it's the Peeta way of saying I am concerned about you." He says softly, staring straight into my eyes. "You have to take care of yourself Katniss, especially now."

I can hear the pain in Peeta's voice and I can tell I have scared him by the way I have been acting. I see his eyes trail down to my abdomen where he rests a warm hand on top of it. I place my hands on top of his and smile back up at him. My first smile in over three days.

When I hop out of the shower, I run and brush through my hair and braid it back in its familiar style. I step into a clean pair of slacks and a flowy green shirt; attempting to make a little effort in my appearance. Finally, I place my locket around my neck and make my way downstairs.

"Feel better?" asks Peeta, as I meet him in the kitchen.

"Much better." I reply sitting at the island.

I watch Peeta as he grabs three plates from the cupboard and sets them down at our smaller table by the kitchen window.

"What's with the extra plate?" I ask, taking a carrot chunk from his salad and popping it into my mouth.

"I invited Haymitch over for dinner. I think we should tell him the news...if you're ready." He responds tossing the rest of the salad.

Until now, I sort of forgot that it's pretty much necessary for me to inform other people of my pregnancy. It was hard enough for me to comprehend that I am pregnant; how am I supposed to tell Haymitch this? But I agree, because if anyone deserved to know this, it's Haymitch. I'm sure he never imagined us to get this far either. Twenty years ago, we were just another pair of tributes to him. Getting us both off those first pedastals was a huge accomplishment, and now here we are; after being poked, chopped, burned, stung, bitten, electrocuted, hijacked, transformed, and so on; now together, married, and expecting a baby.

"Yeah, something is telling me Haymitch deserves to know." And with that, the doorbell rings. I walk to answer the door while Peeta mixes the stir fry.

"Look who got out of bed! Congratulations on the accomplishment sweetheart."

"How do you know about that?" I demand, as he kicks his shoes off at the front door.

"I live across the street. I didn't see you gardening or out towards that forest once." He replies. "Plus, one look at the boy, and I could tell something was off."

I know what Haymitch means. The two of us know Peeta the best, and we both can immediately tell his emotions by one glance at his face.

"Nice of you to check up on me." I reply with the sarcastic banter I only have with Haymitch.

"Isn't that what your husband is for?" He remarks as he slumps down in a chair.

"So, what's for dinner?" He hollers to Peeta as he sets the food onto platters.

"A mixed green salad from the meadow, a stir fry with the game Katniss caught, whole grain rice, and a chocolate cake I managed to mix up." Peeta replies with a proud smile.

"God, whats the occasion?" Haymitch asks, scooping some stir fry onto his plate, as Peeta and I take our seats.

Peeta and I find each other from across the table. I try to hide my smile because it seems that Haymitch has already figured out our plan. Typical Haymitch; always seems to know us better then we even know ourselves.

"Oh here we go...what happened?" He asks as he begins shovelling rice into his mouth.

"Well...I want to umm...say that..I'm glad you could make it for dinner."

Peeta and Haymitch both turn to me with very confused looks upon their faces. I was planning on telling Haymitch about my pregnancy, but I froze up. Telling people makes everything seem so much more real. Despite my excitement, the fear never leaves.

Haymitch just laughs. "What a load of lies."

Peeta can sense I am stuck in a difficult situation, so he changes the subject.

"So Haymitch, have you heard from Effie lately?"

"Yeah, she keeps bugging me, telling me she wants to come down and see you two. I told her she's not missing much, nothings ever new." he replies.

I am thankful that we managed to change the subject. By the time Peeta is cutting into his homemade chocolate cake, I am still toying with idea of telling Haymitch we are expecting. I really am not sure what I am afraid of. Besides Peeta, Haymitch is someone I tell everything to.

Peeta places a large piece of cake in front of Haymitch and I. It looks and smells outstanding, but my mind is roaming so quickly, I can't seem to eat it. Peeta is again, eyeing me with his blue concerned eyes. I realize at this moment, how so much of my life has been controlled by my fear. I don't want to spend the rest of my life being held back by it. I also don't want to spend the rest of my life scaring Peeta because of it. Fear shouldn't control my life.

"Haymitch, I'm pregnant!" I blurt out.

I see Peeta's face form a smile as Haymitch chokes on his bite of cake.

"I'm ten weeks along. I'm going to be a mother, and Peeta a father." I continue.

For awhile, Haymitch is silent. He just sits there, looking at me; like he can't believe this is actually happening.

"Well, it's about time!" He says setting down his fork. "It sure took you two long enough."

"Yeah, well we haven't had the easiest of lives here Haymitch!" I snap back.

"Easy there sweetheart; believe me, I know your lives haven't been walks through a flowery meadow. It's a miracle you got this far. I'm happy for you." He says.

"Thank you Haymitch. We wouldn't be here without you." Peeta adds gratefully.

"Well, that's for sure." Haymitch replies with a sly smile.

I roll my eyes and take a bite of my cake. Haymitch may not be the sappiest of mentors, but for him to at least say he is happy for us, says a lot. I know despite his harsh remarks, he understands me. Haymitch, no matter what, will always be someone who understands how I work best.

We spend the rest of the night chatting and answering simple questions about the pregnancy. Seeing Peeta light up while talking about our child makes me excited about being pregnant. As the night drags on, I walk Haymitch to the door while Peeta cleans up the kitchen.

"Well, thanks for coming over." I say as I open the front door. The sky has gone dark and the stars illuminate the black canvas. I can hear the faint sound of crickets in the background. Then, I notice Haymitch has paused and is staring at me.

"What?" I shout out at him.

He chuckles to himself and then begins to speak. "I'm proud of you sweetheart. I'm well aware that this was not easy for you, but you made such a great choice; to bring a kid into the world. I'm proud of you."

I'm surprised these words came out of his mouth. They were so sincere and loving, that they seemed so out of place coming from Haymitch. It is some sort of miracle that he isn't even drunk right now.

"Thank you." I manage to choke out; and with that he is gone.

I walk back over to Peeta and see him picking at the remaining chocolate cake. I grab a fork and join my husband.

"That went pretty well...for Haymitch, I mean." Peeta exclaims biting into the rich dessert.

"He's genuinely happy for us Peeta. When he left, he told me how proud he was." I reply

"Well, of course he is." He continues. "His life hasn't been much easier than ours, so if you think about it, we are a main source for his happiness."

I think about Peeta's words. It's true, I guess, Haymitch lives alone; all his family killed. Peeta and I are really the only ones left that he loves. In a way, Haymitch gets to live the life he lost through us.

"Uncle Haymitch...it's fitting." I tell Peeta, taking another bite of cake.

Peeta wipes some frosting off my lip. "I think that sounds perfect."

* * *

I spend a lot of my time throughout the next few days in the garden; taking in the flowers and remembering the story each one has. I wonder how I will tell my children about the stories, and how these flowers are not just flowers to me. How will I make them understand without terrifying them?

While I am sitting on one of the benches, I see Peeta walk through the door and down the path in the front yard.

"Where are you off to?" I ask.

"I'm going to do some errands in town. Would you care to join me Mrs. Mellark?" He replies as if we were still newlyweds.

I smile at him. "I would."

So I run to join him, grab his hand, and we walk into town.

We see the usual people on our walk. We stop to talk to Delly, Cade, and their three kids for awhile. We chat about the new medical buildings in the district. Delly and Cade are definitely people-persons, so we get tied up there for awhile. However, I don't mind because they are genuinely nice people. I make a mental note to invite Delly over for lemonade so I can tell her about the pregnancy. Surely she will be excited about the news. Whenever a women in 12 becomes pregnant, Delly always insists on throwing a party to celebrate the expecting mother.

When we finally leave them, Peeta and I say a quick hello to Greasy Sae at her restaurant and head towards the market.

We make our way down the aisles and pick up some fruits, vegetables, and other spices. I pick up a roll of rope for some snares because my old ones are getting quite warn out. Then I grab Peeta's hand and we begin the walk back to our house.

We walk along the main road in town were many of the shops are located. Peeta is sure to stop right in front of the baby shop to admire the pink bassinet in the window.

"I think we're going to have a girl." Peeta exclaims looking into the window with a huge smile across his face.

"Why do you say that?" I question.

"I'm not sure, I just feel like we are." He responds, still smiling.

I laugh. "Well, I feel like we are going to have a boy."

"And why do you say that?" He asks.

" I don't know, I just wanted to be opposite of you."

Peeta and I laugh as we continue down the road. Suddenly, we hear a load roar of the train whistle.

"What's that all about? We don't usually get trains on a Monday?" I question, changing our direction towards the station.

"Maybe its for the new medical center." Peeta replies.

With one look at the train pulling into the station, I can tell Peeta is wrong. This is not a cargo train. It's a passenger train. We don't often get passenger trains here, but when we do, it is usually just on Fridays. Peeta tightens his grip on my hand as we stand by the train tracks. As the doors opens, regular people file down the steps.

"Maybe they are starting passenger trains on Monday's now too." Peeta says.

Just as I look at the front of the train that reads district 4, I see her; tiny, yet healthy. She carries two large suit cases as she struggles down the steps. Her blonde hair is tucked back into a neat bun and I can see her blue eyes from here; my mother.

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**I hope you guys enjoyed this one! I will try to have the next chapter up by the weekend :) Thank you to the people who reviewed! You comments always seem to give me motivation to write! SO that being said I would LOVE to hear from my readers! Thank you guys for reading and shout out to my friend Carlie for continuing to beta this story on her own! FOLLOW ME ON TWITTER TO UPDATES- TributeGirlEmma :)**


	6. Chapter 6

I decided to post this entry a little earlier then usual because I want to get this story rolling.** Special thanks to my reviewers...Clato and Everlark Forever, mockingjay, NormyMellark99 ,PJTHGTBBTFANATIC73** 3

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It has been fifteen years. Fifteen years since the last time my eyes had seen my mother's face. Fifteen years since the last time I felt her touch. When I saw her, I was not sure how I should react, but when that moment came, I took off running like I was five years old again. Full speed; straight into her arms and surprisingly after fifteen years, it all still felt very familiar. I stood there in her arms for what felt like hours; just holding her. She was crying and despite everything, I realized how much I had missed her. My mother was now in her early fifties. All those years of horror and stress had aged her. She had deep wrinkles around her eyes and mouth; however, her flowing blond hair and deep blue eyes still captured her beauty.

After she sobbed into my shoulder, she embraced Peeta. She began crying just the same into his shoulders as she had mine, but Peeta didn't mind. He just held her in his arms; speaking in that soothing tone that could calm anyone. I realized that this was the first time my mother would be meeting Peeta as my husband. We talk on the telephone on a weekly basis, but it will never compare to the feeling of hugging and talking to your mother in person.

After spending almost an hour at the train station, Peeta and I brought my mother back to our home to find out what was truly going on. She told us how wonderful her life in district 4 has been. She has become a doctor for women; especially for women expecting a baby; ironic really. She told me she heard rumors about my pregnancy buzzing around already. Despite everything, Peeta and I still have a celebrity status in Panem, so any news about us seems to travel quickly. When she heard the news, she left everything; left her job and her new life in 4 to come to be with me.

I ended up breaking down into my mothers arms; telling her about my pregnancy and all the ups and downs that have already come with it. I am so relieved to have her here; someone who loves me, and who I can trust with all of my questions and concerns. She told me that she was already transferred into our new medical center and was eagerly looking forward to being my doctor.

I wasn't surprised when my mother found time to try to apologize to me for leaving again. But I forgave her because I understood. My mother needed out. She needed to get away in order to keep herself from truly leaving like she did when my father passed. District 12 held too many memories for my mother, but now with me getting ready to bring a new child into the world, I knew she found hope.

Prim was a child who could see hope even in the most difficult of circumstances. I often challenge myself to be more like her in many aspects, especially that one. I wonder what traits my child will have that belonged to their aunt. Perhaps her patience or caring personality. I wonder if my mother hopes to see these features of Prim or my father in my child; a little memory or bit to remind us that they are truly always here. No matter what I know one thing for sure; I am so thankful to have my mother back.

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**Short but sweet I hope :) [reminder I keep all my journal entries on the short side] But thank you guys for reading! Please leave a comment and let me know your thoughts or what you are hoping to see in future chapters. Your comments always inspire me to write because I am encouraged by your encouragements! As always, thank you to my best friend Carlie for stepping up to beta this! Follow me on twitter- ** TributeGirlEmma** for updates, or ask me questions on askFM at** /TributeGirlEmma **See you guys soon!33**


	7. Chapter 7

**Thank you to my reviewers, Panckles, and all my previous ones. And also to the people on twitter who have shared with me their positive comments. They are so appreciated you have no idea! From now on I will be putting all my reviewers usernames before the chapters! You guys are my encouragement to write.**

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"Okay Katniss, this might be a little cold." My mother tells me as she rubs a clear gel onto my slightly protruding abdomen.

We are at the medical center to get my fifteen week ultrasound. It has been over a month since my mother has moved to 12. She settled in a mid-sized house a block from our home and has fit in quite nicely at the medical center. Ever since she was young, my mother had a pretty high status medically in district 12, and it became very clear that it had not faded. I lie in a white room that has many posters relating to pregnancy covering the bare walls. Some posters with tips and advice, others showing the baby at every stage up until birth. There are also multiple medical machines around the room. Peeta sits on a blue stool next to the ultrasound table that I lie on. He clutches my hand so tightly it almost hurts, however, I am nervous too so I let him hold on.

My mother begins to move a small silver wand on my stomach. Suddenly, a black and white image projects onto the wall in front of me. Since my last ultrasound, the baby has grown significantly. I can now make out a head and the beginnings of tiny arms and legs.

"And there's your baby." My mother says smiling down at me.

"How is the weight, and her fluid levels? Is the baby in the right position?" Peeta blurts out before I can even comment myself. I laugh a little and look up at him wondering how he knows all these things.

"What?" He questions. "I've been reading some baby books."

My mother smiles. "That's not a bad idea. Katniss, I'd encourage you to do the same."

At first, it seems kind of weird to me; reading a book with information about something my body is supposed to do naturally. But I agree because I trust my mothers opinion.

"Would you like to hear the heartbeat?" My mother asks.

"Yes!" Peeta hollers out.

Again, I can't help but smile at his eagerness, so I nod in agreement; excited about hearing my child's heart alive and beating inside me.

As my mother moves another wand on my abdomen, I can see that Peeta already has tears in his eyes. He gets emotional with anything involving our child. I squeeze his hand a little harder to let him know I am here.

After a few moments, I realize the room has gone silent as my mother continues to move the the wand.

"Where's the heart beat?" Peeta asks, concern washing over his face.

I turn to my mother in panic because I can tell Peeta believes we should have found the heart beat by now. My mother has the similar panicked look on her face but she is doing her best to hide it.

"What's wrong?" I demand.

Something comes over me and it takes everything in me not to run out of the room. The instinct to protect my unborn child at all costs sets in; to get away from all this medical equipment and doctors; to run to the woods, climb up to a tree perhaps, where nobody can hurt us.

"Sometimes...finding the heartbeat is difficult." My mother says. "However, it's rare it would take this long." She adds in a quiet tone, almost as to protect me from her words.

I can see the tears begin spilling over Peeta's cheeks. However, these are not happy tears. Peeta believes we have lost our baby. This clicks into my brain and I can feel my mind going dark. The idea of losing another child does not sit well in my mind. My chest becomes heavy and I think I might pass out. I know I can not do this again. I will not be able to bear losing a child who is dependent on me again. I turn to Peeta; for a moment, I try to stay strong for him. How could he lose his baby and wife all in one day?

_"thump-thumpthump-thump-thumpthump." _

The silent room fills with the sound of a strong and steady heart beat. I snap to reality at the beautiful sound.

By this point, my mother is smiling and wiping tears from her own cheeks. Usually, she never lets emotions interfere with her work, but I know she can not help the tears now. My lungs fill with air as I breath a huge sigh of relief. I turn to Peeta who has a steady stream of tears falling from his blue eyes; now these are happy tears. He clings to my hands with his and brings them to his lips and kisses them.

"You have a stubborn little one in there." My mother jokes continuing to move the wand.

"Just like their mother." Peeta says with a smile, placing a gentle kiss on my forehead.

The relief of having a baby with a strong beating heart sets in. For a moment, I thought I lost it. However, it turns out this child in already showcasing traits it has inherited from me. I can't help but laugh through my tearing eyes.

_"Thump-thumpthump-thump-thumpthump."_

And now the tears fall onto my cheeks as the sound truly registers in my mind. I flash back to the cave, to the train, to the beach. I realize that I recognize this sound. It is a sound I learned to love many years ago.

"Peeta!" I blurt out. "It has your heartbeat."

I think back to all those times where that sound held to me the world; how it would soothe me to sleep on those nights where the nightmares seemed to threaten my rest; how I completely lost it in the jungle when I thought I would never hear that sound again; how grateful I was when it came back to me, or how lucky I am to listen to that sound every night. It is a sound that has given me hope for so many years, and here we are, hearing a sound that again, gives me so much hope. Such a strong and steady sound beats within me; a sound that could only resemble Peeta.

* * *

That night, Peeta sleeps soundly with his arm around my abdomen. I rest my head on top of his chest and listen to his heart beat; steady and strong.

_"Thump-thumpthump-thump-thumpthump."_

I rest my hand on my stomach as well, thinking of these two hearts beating in unison. It is clear that our child physically has a heart like Peeta's, but I can only hope it will have a heart emotionally like him as well.

When I wake the next morning, I realize that I didn't have one nightmare. I slept peacefully which has been rare ever since I became pregnant. I notice Peeta is not next to me, signifying he is already at the bakery. The new autumn sun is shining through our open bedroom window. I look at the clock and see that it is 8:39am. When I walk downstairs, I see Peeta has left me a plate of fresh fruit and breakfast cakes. He is making sure I am eating all of my recommended calories everyday. Sometimes I find it annoying, but I understand it is just another reminder of how much he loves me and our unborn child.

As I am finishing my breakfast, I realize that today is the day I want to tell many of my loved ones that we are expecting. I decide that after breakfast, I will walk down to the bakery to tell Peeta my idea. I change into some clothes, throw on my boots, and make my way towards the bakery.

At fifteen weeks pregnant, I am barely showing, however, this is the first time I notice that my pants do not fit quite right. I have on my favourite pair of pants that I often wear into the woods. They usually have plenty of room in them in order for me to move around while hunting, except right now, they are hugging my waist and upper thighs much tighter than usual. I realize that eventually, almost my entire wardrobe won't fit me.

When I reach the bakery door, I can tell it is buzzing with activity. People with happy faces greet me as they carry boxes of pastries and bread out the door.

"Good morning Katniss." Trinity hollers as she boxes up a customers order. Trinity has been working at the bakery for a couple months now. She's a young red-headed girl with bright green eyes; probably only eighteen or nineteen. Peeta hired her as summer help, but she seemed to fit right in, and he couldn't let her go. She is an aspiring baker, so Peeta has been giving her some baking tasks here and there to show her the ropes.

"Good morning." I reply. "Is Peeta around?"

"Yes! He's in the back with Thom.

"Perfect." I say as I make my way around to the baking room.

Thom was hired many years back when Peeta came to terms with the fact that he could not run the whole bakery on his own. Thom was one of Gale's good friends from the mines. He was one of the volunteers to carry Gale after he was whipped and one of the very few to make it to 13. His family was incredibly poor; much like mine was, but it turns out, Thom is a fantastic baker. He just never had the opportunities to display his skills.

"Katniss!" Peeta exclaims. "You're just in time." He races over to me and grabs my hand leading me to decorating table. It is cover with baking ingredients and different bowls of frosting.

"We are having a bit of a dilemma." Thom says.

"We can't seem to agree on an icing flavor for the new red velvet cupcakes." adds Peeta.

I had only had the red velvet cake twice because it was one of Peeta's brand new creations, but it had already become one of my favourites. Truthfully, I found them similar in tasting to chocolate cake, yet their deep red appearance makes them so much more attractive.

"So, its up to you to break the argument; cream cheese or butter-cream?"

Peeta feeds me a bite of red cake with white butter-cream frosting on it. I immediately fall in love with it; thinking that there could never be a better combination.

"How does the baby like that?" Peeta asks smiling.

"I think the baby will be quite happy with that one." I reply.

"Told you she'd like it!" Peeta says proudly to Thom.

"Okay, now the cream cheese." Thom interrupts handing me a spoon filled with red cake and a cream colored icing.

I take the bite and realize that I was wrong; there could be a better combination. My eyes widen in delight.

"This is the winner!" I say wiping the crumbs off of my face.

"HA!" Thom exclaims, clapping his hands near Peeta's face.

Peeta lets out a gasp. "My own wife!" He kids.

"Sorry, but you asked for my opinion." I reply wrapping my arms around his waist. Peeta places a light kiss on my temple.

"Okay, I'm out of here." Thom says awkwardly dashing to the store front with Trinity.

Peeta and I both laugh. I watch as he fills an icing bag with the cream cheese icing I loved. He pipes an ivory coloured rose on top of the red cupcake.

"So, what do you think?" He questions.

I stare at the cupcake for a moment "Honestly...it needs something."

Peeta chuckles to himself for a minute. "And what do you suppose that'd be?"

"Some colour maybe?" I reply.

Peeta sets the bag down on the counter and stares at the ceiling. I can tell he is thinking hard about this. Then suddenly, I watch as he scoots quickly around the room. He grabs more icing bags and a box filled with bright coloured liquids. He fills one bag with icing and grabs a bottle of blue liquid, carefully putting a few drops into the bag. He mixes it quickly and I watch the ivory icing turn into a light blue colour. Then, he grabs the second bag and does the same thing as before except with a red liquid. I watch again as he mixes the bag and it turns into a pretty soft pink. Finally he ices about a dozen baby-coloured red velvet cupcakes.

"Better?" He asks.

"Very cute." I respond "But what are we going to do with all these?"

"Why don't we sell them... I can call them Katniss' pregnancy craves." He says. "We can change the pastry for whatever you are craving at the time."

"I don't know about this Peeta." I say, hesitant about his idea.

"Why not?" He continues. "I always have expectant mothers coming into the bakery looking for a sweet treat. Now we could have something to recommend especially for them."

Peeta's words spin inside my head. I am not sure if I am ready for the whole district to know about my pregnancy. But then I remember, the reason that I came to see Peeta in the first place was to tell him I was planning on telling some of our friends I was pregnant. It also hits me that in a few weeks, people will be speculating anyways due to my growing abdomen if they haven't been already. I suppose that telling people in this cute, fun way would be better then all the speculation.

"Well, I was planning to come here to tell you that I am going to call some of our friends to tell them I am pregnant anyways." I say.

"Perfect!" Peeta replies

"You promise to bring me home a ton of samples so I can choose the new cravings?" I say wrapping my arms around Peeta's neck.

I feel Peeta's hands grip my waste and he brings his body closer to mine, pressing his lips to my ear. My body shivers as I feel his warm breath against my skin.

"Absolutely." He whispers.

Peeta gently kisses the line of my jaw leading to my lips. His lips capture mine and I allow my body to rest against his, his strong arms stabling me. We stand there kissing each other. I run my fingers through his blond hair then down his arms and back.

I start to feel that thing again; that hunger that only Peeta can bring out of me. Peeta lifts me up and I am sitting on the counter not parting his lips from my own, and then, just like the time on the beach, we are interrupted.

"Peeta!" Trinity hollers. "We need your help out here."

Peeta sighs as he pulls his mouth away from mine. I can tell he is annoyed and does not have any desire to leave me and this oven room.

"It's okay." I tell him. "I have calls to make...and you have pregnancy cupcakes to sell."

I hop off the counter and place a gentle kiss on his cheek. Then, I grab his hand and lead him out to the front. The line of customers is out the door, so I get the signal that this is my time to go. I say a quick goodbye to Thom and Trinity and make my way through the line of people.

When I round the corner for home, I see Haymitch in his front yard. He is throwing feed into the air attempting to feed the geese. When I get closer, I see he is nursing a bottle of liquor, so I don't bother stopping to talk to a drunken Haymitch. Instead, I walk inside and head for the phone.

When I sit down and dial the telephone, I surprise myself when I dial Gale's number first. I think it is because Gale and his wife Lila already have four children. Alton, who is the oldest and only boy is ten, Luna is seven, Chessa five, and Willow two. I think about how Gale will understand my fear and excitement about this because he has already done this four times.

"Hello?" Says a perky female voice on the other line.

"Lila! Hi, it's Katniss." I reply

"Katniss! How weird, we were just about to call you." she says. "We have some great news."

"So do we." I add smiling to myself.

"Oh that's wonderful, but I'll let you talk to Gale, he's right here."

"Thanks Lila!"

I am grateful for Lila; she understands my relationship with Gale. She see's how we are only friends, but that we still need each other. If we lived closer, I imagine Lila and I would be great friends, but even on our yearly trip to two, it's almost like we were never apart. After a moment, I hear Lila pass the phone to Gale.

"Hey Catnip."

Even after all these years he still insists on calling me that. I tried to convince him that perhaps we are a little too old for such nicknames, but I guess old habits die hard. Plus, if I am honest with myself, I don't really mind it. It takes me back in time, to a period that seemed much simpler; back to the world where I would spend hours of my day, concealed in the trees; just Gale and I. I think about how during my games, I would have done just about anything to have that life back, and now I would never want to live in a world like that ever again; how horrific it all truly was.

"Hey Gale...how are you?" I ask.

"Oh you know, pretty good, but I hear you have some news?" asks Gale.

I take a deep breath and lean against the wall, preparing to tell my childhood best friend, that I am pregnant.

"Yeah I do actually." I begin to say. I think about when I told Haymitch I was pregnant and how long it took me to get over my fear. But I don't have anything to be afraid of, so I decide not to let my fears control me again.

"I'm pregnant; Peeta and I are expecting." I say, smiling to myself because it feels so good to be able to say that.

For a while, there is silence as Gale must be processing what he just heard.

"Katniss I am so happy for you; for you and Peeta" He begins. "I know this might be hard for you, but I am telling you nothing in this world is better than holding your newborn child. I can't wait for you to feel that."

I smile again at his words.

"So...how'd he do it?" Gale asks.

"Excuse me?" I reply, rather confused and appalled by his question.

"How'd he convince you I mean?" Gale chuckles.

"Oh!" I laugh as well. "I don't know to be honest, he just.."

"Has an outstanding way with words? It'd be really hard to tell him no, I imagine." Gale says, filling in my sentence.

"You have no idea...but after awhile, I realized I wanted this too." I tell him.

There is another pause in our conversation. I can hear Gale breathing on the other line.

"You really love him." He says in a steady tone.

I am confused at first because Gale and I don't usually discuss our present love lives. But despite everything, I trust Gale; I always have and always will.

"Yeah." I reply. "I really do."

For some odd reason, right at this moment, Finnick Odair pops into my mind. "No, she crept up on me." He once told me this, many year ago when I asked him if he loved Annie right away. Back then, it didn't mean as much to me, but now I realize just how much I understand his words. I realize how similar our relationships are. Two broken people slowly coming together simply because they love each other; how they have a bond that no two others have. I learned that from my friend Finnick Odair. So now, when someone asks if I love Peeta I can tell them; I really do.

I snap myself back to reality when I realize I still have Gale on the phone.

"Peeta and I have some catching up to do if we want to compete with you and Lila though." I say in a joking manner.

"Yeah, about that..." Gale begins. "Lila's pregnant again too. I was just about to call you when the phone rang...so it looks like you guys have a ways to go."

I laugh because despite how happy I am, I know Peeta and I will never have five children. But Gale comes from a family with four children and Lila had six in her family, so I am really not surprised.

"No, I think you got us beat." I say. "Congratulations Gale, and tell Lila I said congrats too."

"Will do!" He tells me. "But I have to go to work. I'll talk to you soon Catnip.

"Sounds good. Bye Gale."

I hang up the phone and breath a sign of relief. Not only are Gale and Lila happy for us, they will be tackling this journey while we are. Even though they have done it multiple times before, I am thankful to have Lila to call if I feel the need to talk to another female who is going through exactly what I am.

The next two people I call are Effie and Annie. Effie breaks down into tears the moment I tell her. She immediately begins to tell me how thrilled she is for us, making sure to tell me she will be coming to twelve as soon as she can. When I tell Annie, she too cries at the news. Not as hard as Effie, but I can tell it chokes her up.

"Finnick would be so happy for you two." She tells me.

At the thought of Finnick Odair for the second time today, I begin crying now too. I find myself wishing he was here to see my child; here to see his own child. Annie and I stay on the phone together until we are both calmed down. We promise each other to visit soon because after this conversation, all I really want to do is hug Annie and Finn.

I call Johanna next. She too lives in district 4 now. She moved there maybe ten years ago to help Annie in raising Finn. Johanna has managed to find herself a lover now too. His name is Ren and they have been together for a few years now. A marriage may be a long shot for Johanna Mason, but I am happy she found someone. He is a lot like her, perhaps not as intense, but she needed someone to match her fierce attitude. Ren is also incredibly tall; about the same height and width as Gale, which isn't surprising because I know she always had her eye on him. However, Ren has the sandy blonde hair that Finnick had; a popular trait for people from 4. Her reaction may have not been as emotional, but I could tell she was happy for us.

I make a few more calls and then hang up the phone. I don't bother telling anyone in the district because Peeta's cupcakes will do that on their own. So instead, I walk over to the fireplace and cuddle up with a warm blanket. Then I pick up a 500 page baby book, and begin my reading.

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**I really hope you guys enjoyed this one because I got emotional just writing it! Anyways I am back to school now so I do not have as much time to write so bare with me during this time! I did pre-write A LOT in the summer so I think we will be okay. Please take the time to review this and tell me what you are hoping to see next! Follow me on twitter for updates- ** TributeGirlEmma** I post sneak peeks to upcoming chapters on twitter! and as always thanks to my friend Carlie who stepped up to be my beta! **


	8. Chapter 8

**Thank you to everyone who reviewed my story, kimbaleena2002 ,Panckles ,NormyMellark99 and the comments from people on twitter as well! As always you guys are the reason I write! Your comments are my biggest motivation so thank you for that!**

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Lately when I sleep, I find myself dreaming of the ocean. I see sugar cubes, sandy blonde hair, and deep green eyes. In my dreams I can remember the charming and charismatic man that was Finnick Odair.

Finnick is one of those faces that I don't think my mind will ever be able to erase. He is also someone who I will never be able to repay. Finnick Odair deserves a lot of credit for getting me to where I am today and there is not a day that goes by where I don't think about him; wishing with everything that I have for him to flash me that sweet smile just one more time. Or maybe for him to hold Annie again, or get to see how young Finn is so similar to him already.

I have also been talking to Annie more often. Sometimes at two in the morning when I can't sleep and need a girl to talk to, I'll call her. Other times she calls me. We laugh together and cry together until we fall asleep. She talks about Finnick often or how Finn has done something again that day that was in every way like his father. She told me recently that Finn had found Finnick's old trident in a box upstairs. Annie hadn't been up there in years and when Finn brought it down to show her, a flood of memories rushed back to her. Annie told me that Finn rarely ever puts it down since finding it. He takes it to the ocean and tries to catch fish, just like his father. With Finn being a teenager now, Annie has told him story after story about his father, but as gets older, he craves a father's guidance, and I know that breaks Annie's heart.

Besides Finnick, Annie and I also talk a lot about my child. She helps me a lot with my fears. This journey is only just beginning, yet I feel like it is full of so many happy moments that end with them crashing down because of my negative thoughts.

I have heard so many people tell me that they thought Annie was crazy; how her brain was clearly not right. However, I have learned to disagree with them. Annie was never the crazy one, everyone else was. The people of the capitol were the crazy ones whose minds were not right. Annie is just another person who had to suffer because of so many cruel people. Just like me and Peeta, Johanna, Finnick, Haymitch; all of us fellow victors. So, when Peeta comes home with new pregnancy pastries, frames another ultrasound photo, or sleeps with a hand on my stomach as if already guarding our baby, I think of Annie. I can't even comprehend the fact that she had to go through this alone. A chill races down my spine at the thought.

That night, my dreams are filled with my children and I; but Peeta is not present in any of the dreams. First, mutts got him and then he was shot right in the chest, and in another, Snow took him from me. I had to do this alone; raise a child without him. When I wake up, I am paralyzed by my own thoughts.

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**Kind of leaving you guys on a cliff hanger here. I hope you are all enjoying! I know these chapters of Katniss' journal are short, but I think its important to give you a deeper idea of her thoughts. Anyways I have a long chapter coming up next so make sure to stay tuned! Follow me on twitter for updates- TributeGirlEmma**


	9. Chapter 9

**As always thank you to my reviewers: Panckles ,cchester1985 ,hungergamesfangirl100 . I also want to thank all the people on twitter this week who shared their comments and thoughts with me! You guys makes my day and are a huge encouragement. IMPORTANT***- With that being said I have chose to put Guarding Daisies on a schedule so you will know when chapters are coming. So the plan is, if I post a journal entry, the following chapter will be uploaded a week from that date. If I post a dialogue scene the next chapter will be 2 weeks from that date. Therefore the next chapter after this will be posted on October 10th. Please follow me on twitter for updates and sneak peeks to chapters ** TributeGirlEm** . ALSSOO!**** I have decided because I know sometimes people do not like waiting for chapters, that whenever I hit increments of 20 reviews, I will post a bonus chapter to show my thanks to you guys3 Sorry this was so long. Enjoy the chapter! **

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I find myself slipping again; slipping away from my reality and being pulled back into that dark hole of nothingness. I'm suffocated by my own emotions and thoughts. At my last doctors appointment, I was reminded that I am now twenty weeks along. My stomach is now beginning to show, but all I want to do is trap myself under the covers, away from this dangerous world. I'm not sure how long it has been, but I refuse to get up and even if I wanted to, the nightmares manage to keep me paralyzed in my bed. Multiple times a day Peeta brings me food and tries to get some nutrients into me.

"Katniss, you need to eat something." Peeta tells me, handing me a cheese bun, but I tune him out and avoid him.

He starts yelling, clearly becoming frustrated, but I don't have the energy to listen. When he goes downstairs, I can hear glass breaking but I don't get up. Instead, I bury my face into a pillow and try to escape the sunlight.

_Peeta has his arm wrapped around my waist as we sit by the lake I used to go to with my father. I am wearing an orange sundress and I appear to be ready to give birth any day. When I step into the lake, the cool water washes over my feet. Peeta stands behind me and wraps his arms around my waist, resting his hands on my stomach. Soon after this, I sit on the shore as I watch Peeta pick flowers in the meadow for me. I immediately feel calmed by the sunlight._

_Suddenly, a loud noise sounds and a strong wind blows above me. A black hovercraft appears over the meadow with the unmistakable capitol seal on the wing. A claw comes down and takes Peeta into its grasp. With that, I am on my feet and trying to run to him, but my belly is so large that it is too hard to move. I am watching the hovercraft fly away and Peeta is taken away from me again, just like that. The meadow around me that was filled with bright spring flowers disappears. It's replacement is a field of white roses and I know that, yet again, Snow is behind this._

I wake up in a cold sweat. The area of my pillow where my head was resting is damp. I notice a plate of cheese buns beside the bed, but just like before, I refuse to eat them. Suddenly, I get a wave of heat that once again, rushes over my body. My stomach becomes tight and I heave onto my pillow. At first nothing comes up; mostly likely because I haven't eaten anything. Then a, yellow bile makes an appearance. I immediately feel like this can't be good, but I can't bring myself to care. I keep heaving until Peeta enters the room. He has dark circles under his eyes and the blue looks much darker. His eyes are glossy as he looks at me.

"Oh Katniss." He mutters under his breath.

I just roll over trying to avoid my mess. I can feel Peeta begin stripping the pillow cases off the pillows and doing his best to strip the foul sheets, despite me still lying in them. Soon after, I hear him walk into the bathroom and the water from the bathtub faucet begins to run. Peeta returns and gently lifts me up in a bridal-style carry. I don't struggle, but I definitely don't help him by being an easy passenger; but, he manages to ease me down into the tub with my night clothes still on.

"Katniss...please talk to me." Peeta begs, as he pulls the soiled nightgown over my head.

I don't reply. Instead, I just close my eyes and try to picture myself in some place far away. With Finnick and Prim, Cinna, Rue, my father; everyone I miss.

"I need you Katniss. Please!" Peeta says, raising his voice a little. "Our baby needs you."

I hear everything he is saying, yet the words have no impact on me. I just sit in the warm water as Peeta rinses my hair. Prim would have handled this so much better than I. She should be here; not me.

After Peeta removes the rest of my clothing and manages to wash down my body, he removes me from the tub and puts me in a clean shirt. All I want is for him to carry me back to bed, so when he picks me up and carries me down the stairs, I scowl at him, but do not have the energy to squirm my way out of his strong arms. Peeta places me into a chair right next to the window. My body is so stiff that it almost hurts to sit upright. Outside, the sun is shining and there is not a cloud in the sky. It's the type of day I would usually love to spend out in the woods.

When Peeta comes back in view, he bends down to look me straight into my eyes. I feel his hand rest upon my cheek and then brush the wet hair strands from my face.

"Katniss please, please stay with me." He begs again, resting his head onto my lap.

_Always_; that's what he wants me to say, but I remain quiet. My brain is screaming with so many other thoughts. If it wasn't for me, Finnick would have met his child. Why should I have a child when it is my fault that he couldn't even see his own? Finnick deserves to hold his child. He is the one who deserves to be a parent; not me. Prim and Rue; they both should be mothers, but they're not because I couldn't protect them like I had promised. So many people will never get this opportunity, so why should I? Why me?

"Katniss...I'm going to call your mother. I'm not going to just sit here and watch you and the baby suffer." He tells me, pulling me away from my thoughts. I don't reply. I just close my eyes, trying to tune out his words.

However, about twenty minutes later, I hear a knock on the door.

"Katniss." My mother hollers, walking inside before waiting for Peeta to answer.

Before she can find me, I take off. I run up the stairs as quickly as my weak body can move. After a few steps, I stumble and hit the wooden steps hard. My hands manage to brace the fall, but I know I will have bruising on my legs. When I reach the top of the steps, I run to the empty nursery and slam the door shut. I lock the door so no one can enter and I head over to my familiar spot under the windows. I do not want my mother to find me. All she is going to do is give me some kind of medication or worse; put me in the hospital under constant watch. I bury my face into my arms to drown out that image from my mind, but the sound of people running up the steps starts to make me nervous.

"Katniss, please open the door." My mother pleads, trying to turn the knob.

"You're not just hurting yourself anymore. There is a child inside of you." She adds.

I curl up on the hard ground and clutch my abdomen. I hear a body slam against the door and I immediately know Peeta is trying to break it down. After a few tries, the slamming noise stops and I hear them walk away. I allow myself to rest and enter the terrifying world of my nightmares.

Just as I am reliving Finnicks death once more, I snap away at the sound of the door knob moving. Peeta and my mother are trying to unlock it again. I get up and try to lock myself in the closet, but before I reach the door, I feel it; like a small punch or a kick from my insides. The movement frightens me, so I drop to my knees and hold my abdomen. The tears begin to fall from my eyes and I allow myself to show emotion for the first time in a long time. I feel another punch and let out a loud yelp just as Peeta and my mother burst through the door.

"Something is happening!" I scream as my mother bends down in front of me taking my hands. "I felt something move inside of me." I say, breaking down into my mothers arms.

"That's normal Katniss, and I am so relieved to hear you say that. That's supposed to happen this far along; your baby is growing." My mother tells me, holding me against her chest and smoothing out my hair.

"But I'm going to be honest with you; you're very lucky. You can't tune out like that. It is so dangerous for you and the baby." She continues.

"But it's not fair!" I yell out, allowing my mother to hold me like a young child. "Prim will never get to do this. Neither did Finnick. I don't deserve it."

"But Katniss you do! Because of you, no one else's lives will be taken away like Prim or Finnick's were. You deserve this sweetheart, you really do, and so does Peeta. Prim would be so happy and proud of you." My mother says choking up a little.

"I just wish they were here." I say in a whisper as I begin sobbing into her shirt.

"I know you do honey...and I do too." She adds.

My mother and I sit in the nursery for a few minutes, just holding each other and crying. I let myself trust her and open up to her more then I ever have before and it calms me.

Peeta and my mother help me downstairs and sit me at the table where I slowly sip a glass of orange juice. My mother goes to sit in the living room to give Peeta and I some time to talk. However, not much talking occurs. I watch Peeta as he stirs a large pot of soup and pours it into smaller bowls. He doesn't say a word or even looks in my direction. Usually he is there to comfort me, telling me that no matter what horrible thing I have done, that things will be okay. I am nothing like my husband. I don't know how to use words the way he does, so I don't even know what to say.

Finally, he sets a bowl of steaming soup in front of me and sits down across the table with his own bowl. He still doesn't even bother to acknowledge me, so to please him, I take a few large spoonfuls of soup to show him I am making an effort. For a moment, I see him look up at me, but he still doesn't say anything.

"I'm so sorry Peeta." I say suddenly, looking up at him.

For awhile, he stays silent, but focus his eyes on me.

"I truly am." I add.

Peeta looks down at his bowl.

"Sorry isn't going to fix everything this time Katniss." He says, speaking in a calm soothing voice. However, I can hear how much he's hurting so clearly.

I don't know how to respond so I just listen.

"You have to stop tuning out like this. You have a child inside you; our child. You put not only yourself but the baby in danger. You need to talk to me about your emotions, not push me away and make things worse. That's what you and I do." He says reaching across the table to take both of my hands.

"We protect each other." I say repeating the words I once said to him long ago.

"Exactly." He replies, running his thumbs over the tops of my palms. His touch warms my body and let's me know he is still here.

"I'm not going to let this happen again." I say to him, resting my hand on my abdomen. "I have you to help me."

"You'll always have me Katniss." He says.

"I know that Peeta. It's just this whole thing started because I kept thinking about how Annie had to go through this without Finnick...and I can't even imagine doing this without you." I say getting up and placing a gentle kiss on his lips.

"Oh baby, that would never happen." Peeta adds embracing me into his arms.

We stand there for a while holding each other.

* * *

Later in the day, I sit on a kitchen stool as my mother gives me a rundown about the vitamins I will be taking for the duration of the pregnancy.

"I am putting you on four vitamin supplements that you are to take once a day in the morning. Folic acid, iron, calcium and a DHA." She says putting the pills in an organized container.

I am doing my best to sound interested, but in all honesty, I have no idea what any of this is. I just agree because not only is she my doctor, but she is my mother.

"Four supplements, everyday, in the morning; got it." I tell her trying to sound eager.

"Perfect!" She replies. "But Katniss, on more of an emotional level, I think you and Peeta need something; something for you to channel your emotions about the people you lost in a positive way and something you can do together. I mean, I know you hunt and have your garden and Peeta bakes, but you need something that the both of you can do."

I begin to process my mothers words and realize that what she is saying is true. Peeta and I should have something that we can use to share our emotions. Then suddenly, it hits me.

"The book!" I blurt out, jumping up from my seat.

"The book? Katniss what are you talking about?" My mother yells, but it's too late. I am already up and dashing up the stairs.

I race into our bedroom and find Peeta slipping into a pair of clean underwear after getting out of the shower.

"Woe! Naked person in the room!" He states, turning around to see that it was only me.

"Oh, it's nothing I've haven't seen before." I reply laughing at my husband and heading towards the closet.

I hear Peeta laugh too as I yank open the door and begin digging through the closet, tossing out boxes and old sweaters behind me.

"Um, can I help you find something?" He asks, making his way through the mess I've just created.

"Peeta, where's the book? Our memory book!" I ask turning around to face him.

"Oh, wow, I forgot about that book. I haven't seen it in years." He replies honestly.

I turn my focus back to the already destroyed closet and continue pulling things off the shelf and throwing them out of my way. I'm pretty sure I hit Peeta with something because I hear him make a slight moan, but I continue my search. Finally I spot it. In the very back corner of the shelf sits a little brown book. I almost forgot about it too. I haven't seen it in five, maybe ten years. When Peeta first returned home from the capitol back many years ago, we had something to channel our feelings; this book. I would sit next to Peeta for hours. We would talk, both revealing the memories of the loved ones we lost. Peeta used a careful hand to recreate the faces of our family. I would take my time using the neatest handwriting possible to write all the important words about each person. Like Prim's kind heart and bright smile or my father's perfect singing voice. Other days, I would sit there carefully writing the beautiful words Peeta had to share about each of his family members; even about his mother. I used to think that this book played a great part in bringing Peeta and I back together.

I take the book in one hand and clutch it against my chest, then I grab Peeta's hand with my other. I lead him over to the end of our bed and sit next to him as I open the book. On the very first page, I see Prim's smiling face and crystal blue eyes.

"Prim." I mutter softly under my breath and gently let my fingers trace over the page.

Peeta reaches up and places his arm around me. I lean in against his shoulder and rest my head.

"I wish you got to know her better Peeta. She was so amazing." I tell him, staring at the perfectly painted picture of my sister.

"I know. I could tell how great she was just from the short time I got to be with her... I remember she loved coming to look in the bakery window." He pauses for a moment as though he was reliving the memory and then he chuckles. "I always knew I liked your sister." Peeta tells me.

"What do you mean?" I question.

"I used to watch Prim drag you over to the window to admire the cakes. You never noticed, but I was admiring you as she was admiring the desserts...I wish I could have taught her how to bake. I think she would have loved it." He continues.

"I think she would have too." I say, smiling at the thought of Peeta teaching Prim all the ins and outs of baking.

"She loved you so much Katniss." He tells me before placing a sweet kiss onto my temple.

"Peeta.." I begin to say, "I want us to start sharing our memories in this book again."

I look up at my husband and see a smile appear on his face. He takes the book gently out of my hands and begins flipping through the few pages that we had filled. Yes, our families are in here, but what about the others we had to watch die? They deserved to be within these pages as well.

"I think that's a wonderful idea." Peeta tells me, grabbing my hand and dragging me into his art room.

I sit down on a stool beside his desk as he stares into a deep drawer of paint.

"So, who should we paint first?" Peeta asks.

We look at each other and immediately seem to have the same person in mind.

"Finnick." We both say at the exact same time.

The charming boy from district 4 doesn't seem to be far from my mind these days. I just wish he could hold his child; hold Annie one more time because I know they miss him. I miss him.

"I remember the first time I met Finnick." I begin. "It was during the Quarter Quell tribute parade...when he came up to be and seductively offered me a sugar cube." I say with a sly smile on my face.

"And wanted to share secrets." Peeta adds and we both laugh this time.

"I remember that, for awhile there, I thought he would try to steal you from me too, but then I got to know him; learned about Annie. Finnick had so many qualities I admired. He really loved that girl."

"When they took you from me..." I begin to hesitate because I really hate reliving that dark period, but I think this is the type of sharing my mother intended me to do with Peeta. "I talked to him a lot..about us." I continue.

"What did he say?" Peeta asks, focusing his attention to me instead of the green paint Peeta had begun to mix to create Finnick's perfect eye colour.

"I once asked him if he loved Annie right away."

"And what did he tell you?"

"He actually told me that he didn't; that instead she crept up on him." I tell him, getting up off of my stool and walking over to sit myself up onto his lap.

"And from then on, I realized you did a pretty good job of creeping your way into my heart as well." I add, cupping his face into my hands and kissing his soft lips.

When I pull away from him, I see the smile on his face and realize how much I have missed that.

"Peeta...I want to go to district 4."

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**This chapter was emotional for me to write so I really hope you enjoyed! Thank you to my awesome beta! Make sure to leave me a comment to tell me your thoughts! Follow me on twitter ( TributeGirlEm) for updates and sneak peeks to chapter 10! THANKS AGAIN!**


	10. Chapter 10

**Thank you guys for waiting those long 2 weeks for this! I hope you enjoy! Shout out to my reviewers and all those on twitter! ( TributeGirlEm ) - follow me for updates and sneak peeks!**

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I open the cabinet door and put my pregnancy supplements into a travel bag. I zip it shut and place the bag on top of the other suitcases I have already brought downstairs. Peeta was off to work at his usual early morning time, so it was my job to finish our packing for the visit to 4. When Peeta gets home, we are off to the train station to see Annie and Finn. It is already three o'clock, so Peeta should be home within minutes. I manage to get some last minute things together, and then go to the door to wait for him.

When he opens the front door, I walk into his arms and kiss him. We haven't had the easiest journey, so I hope him having his pregnant wife walk up to greet him after work was more of the happy picture he had in mind.

"Wow, someone's been busy." Peeta says, looking at the suitcases waiting at the front door.

"Well, the faster we get out of here, the quicker we get to 4." I reply grabbing his hand and heading for the door.

Peeta laughs, "Can I at least shower first?"

I let out a sigh, but agree because I know, like me, he has no desire of showering on the train.

"You could always shower with me?" Peeta asks in his best seductive voice.

"I already showered this morning; good try though." I say with a wink.

Peeta chuckles and hands me a bag with a Mellark bakery logo on in. "Fine then, but I did bring you some desserts to try out for the cravings menu."

My stomach growls at the smell of the pastries alone. "You shower, I'll eat." I tell Peeta, dashing to the kitchen to see what awaits me inside the bag.

When I tear open the box, I find an array of beautiful pastries. I pop a cake-ball covered with strawberry icing into my mouth and savor the taste. I feel the baby kick as I swallow the treat. I can't help but smile at that. Everyone loves Peeta's baking, including the baby.

By the time Peeta comes downstairs with his damp hair, I have decided on a triple chocolate peanut butter cookie.

"I thought you might like that one." Peeta says, heading to the front door to put his shoes on.

"You keep out doing yourself Peeta. That cookie was just about as good as one of your cheese buns." I reply, joining him at the door. "Ready to go?" I add.

"Ready!"

* * *

Peeta and I enter our overnight compartment on the train. We will be arriving in district 4 around 8 o'clock tomorrow morning, so it is necessary for us to sleep overnight. These trains are pretty different compared to the Capitol trains fifteen years ago. In our compartment, there is just one mid-sized bed with a white comforter, a desk and chair, a small breakfast table by a window, and a tiny washroom. It is smaller than our bedroom at home, but I actually like the cozy space compared to the over the top extravagant one that was extremely overwhelming.

"I don't think I'll ever enjoy riding in a train." Peeta admits as he sets the suitcase on the bed.

"I agree." I tell him. "The compartment is different, but the motion and noise of the track is still the same."

As the night settles down, I lie in bed flipping through the newly improved memory book, while Peeta sits at the desk doodling on some paper. We both were doing our best to keep our minds occupied.

"Katniss, I'm hungry. I'm going to see what I can find in the food compartment." He says. "Do you want anything?"

"No, I'm fine." I reply back.

He comes over to the side of the bed and places a kiss on my forehead.

"Okay, I'll be right back then."

I smile up at him and watch him leave the room. I was tempted to go with him because I don't like the idea of staying in our train compartment alone. However, I am so tired that I don't feel like moving. I put down the book on the bedside table and allow sleep to take over me.

_As the train pulls into the Capitol station, Peeta and I race to the windows. We know we need to make an impression on the people who are most likely potential sponsors. When my eyes meet the window, I see what I am faced with. Outside, a fire blazes and President Snow is standing untouched in the middle of everything. On the ground, I see so many past tributes that had to die for me to be here. I see Rue with a spear in her stomach, Cashmere with an axe buried deep in her chest, Clove with a sunken in skull, Glimmer's body covered in welts, Cato being mauled by mutts, Mags dead in fog, bits and pieces of Brutus, and every other Tributes who's death I witnessed. I let out a blood curdling scream as I realize what this train has brought me to; a place of horror, a place of death._

My eyes shoot open and I can feel the sweat running down my temples. I can barely catch by breath, until I realize Peeta's arm is wrapped around me and he is pushing the hair away from my face.

"It's okay Katniss; it was only a nightmare. You're safe. I'm right here." He says, using soothing words to calm me down.

Once I realize that he is beside me and that I am indeed safe, I lay my head back down on the pillow. I snuggle my back into Peeta's chest and feel his mouth at my ear.

"It was the train..." I begin. "It carried me back to the games and I watched them all die again."

Peeta's arm goes back securely around my waist and I hold onto to it making sure he doesn't let go.

"I shouldn't have left you." Peeta replies, sounding guilty.

I shift my body in the bed to turn and face my husband.

"Peeta...please stop blaming yourself for these things you can't control." I tell him placing my arm around him this time.

"I know but-" He begins

I have never been good with words the way Peeta is, so when I can't seem to find the right words to change his opinion, I do the only logical thing; I kiss him.

"You're here now." I tell him when we part and I snuggle my head back onto his chest. I can feel his arm move to my back and he rubs gently up and down my spine. Quickly, we both drift off to sleep.

* * *

My eyes flutter open at the sound of the train whistle. A cheery voice comes over the sound system and I see Peeta's eyes open as well.

"Good morning passengers. We will be pulling into the district 4 station in approximately twenty minutes. Once again, we will be arriving in district 4 in twenty minutes. Thank you." And the room is silent again.

I can feel Peeta brush the hair away from my face, so I tilt my head up to meet his eyes.

"Good morning." I say with a smile, surprised at how calm and relaxed I am.

"No nightmares?" Peeta asks.

"No nightmares." I reply.

Suddenly, I am immediately taken back to one of the few good memories I have about my experience in the Capitol. It feels like yesterday, yet so long ago all at the same time, when Peeta's arms kept me sane on past train rides just like it did last night and so many times before. I was so grateful to have him back then, and still today. I think about when he was taken away from me and how truly broken I was. A shudder goes down my spine and I quickly push that thought away from my mind. I am just grateful to have him next to me, and so thankful that he has never stopped loving me.

I feel the mattress shift as Peeta gets out of bed and walks over to the small window. When he opens the blinds, the sun rushes into the room, filling it with light. I can see that there is not a cloud in the sky .

"Katniss! Come look! You can see the ocean from here." Peeta says, waving me over to the window.

As I make my way out of bed and over to the window, I get my first view of the ocean in almost two years. It looks especially blue today and I instantly feel closer to Finnick. When I press my hand against the glass of the window, I instantly feel the warmth that the sun is already giving off. I think about the faces of Annie and Finn. Finn, no longer a boy anymore, but a young man. I haven't seen him in two years, but Annie tells me he is growing and getting stronger every day; becoming so much like his father. I smile at the thought and dash over to the suitcase to get dressed so I can run off the train to greet them both.

I slip into a flowy summer dress. Usually, I don't wear dresses, but in district 4 they always seem fitting for the sand. I also have learned to enjoy these loose fitting outfits with my growing stomach. I decide to leave my hair down today instead of in a braid. I just let the dark waves fall over my shoulders. I like the way the salty air blows through it here. I gather my few remaining things and grab Peeta's hand and exit our compartment. I can feel the train slowing down and I want to be the first one out the door.

As we leave the room, we head down the narrow hallway of the train, passing many other doors to the other compartments. A young female train worker with black hair is standing in front of the door. She smiles at Peeta and I, and I do by best to offer her a smile despite my eagerness to get off the train. We are pulling up to the station and I can see people standing on the cement looking for their loved ones. My eyes automatically roam for Annie and Finn, but I don't see them. Finally, the train comes to a hault and the lady unlocks the door. She opens it wide and pulls down the steps. She motions for us to exit so I make my way down. I can feel the sun hit my skin as soon as I walk out into the fresh air. At home, it keeps getting colder and we are preparing for winter within the next month, but here in 4, it feels like summer. I also take in the smell of the air. It is so different from home as well. At home the air has a soft smell of pine trees within it, but here it smells like the ocean.

"Do you see them?" Peeta asks as he hauls our suitcase off of the train.

I squint my eyes in the sunlight, hoping so desperately to see them, but I don't .

Peeta and I walk away from the train to the front of the station in hopes that maybe they are awaiting us there. My eyes roam back and forth searching in every direction for their familiar faces.

"Katniss!" I hear a voice call out for me from behind. The voice sounds familiar, but it's indefinably not Annie, and much too deep to be Finn's.

When I turn around, my eyes go wide and I grab Peeta's arm for support because I feel like I might collapse. It can't be him; it's impossible.

"Finnick?" I whisper under my breath, trying to comprehend what my eyes are seeing.

"Katniss...that's Finn." I hear Peeta say.

My brain still can't seem to process what I know to be true. Before me is not Finnick, it's Finn. I can feel the tears threatening to spill over my cheeks, but I do my best to hold them in because I do not want to worry Finn.

Finn; as he stands before me I see Finnick in every way. He is tall and broad, and so handsome just like his father. Suddenly I see Annie. She appears next to her son and is smiling in our direction. Finn is already towering over her small frame. I watch Finn begin running in our direction. I drop my small bag and run to meet him. I embrace him into my arms, but I am no longer hugging a small child. It feels like I am hugging Finnick again and I can't help the tears.

"Finn, I missed you both so much." I say, pulling away from his embrace.

Everything from his green eyes to golden hair; it's all Finnick. I turn to Annie who as a huge smile on her face. It always makes me feel at peace seeing her happy. I watch her eyes drop down to my stomach and see the tears fall from her green eyes. I pull her into an embrace, taking in the moment, and how wonderful it is to see these two again.

"He's beautiful Annie, so much like his father." I tell her as we are still linked together.

Annie pulls away from our embrace and looks into my eyes. She is still crying, so I wipe a tear from her cheek. She has no words; she can only nod in agreement as her lips form another smile.

I watch Peeta hug both Annie and Finn as well. Finn is about the same size as Peeta at this point. Annie and Peeta have also always had a special connection; ever since he made them their wedding cake. Annie also was one of the few people who understood what Peeta went through best; someone who understood that Peeta wasn't the crazy one.

After our greeting, we all pile into a car that takes us to their home. Annie and Finn live right on the water, so during most of the ride, I rest my head against the window and watch the waves. I casually try to steal glances at Finn because I still can not wrap my head around just how much he resembles Finnick.

When we arrive, Annie brings us into the house while Finn goes outside to play in the ocean. The house still looks the same. It's the type of home that always makes you feel welcome. Peeta and I stay in the guest bedroom on the second floor that overlooks the water. Annie gives us some time to settle in and unpack.

"I'm so glad you're here." She tells me before she leaves.

I smile at her. "Me too." I say because it is true. I am genuinely happy to be here.

Peeta begins unpacking and goes to place some things in the bathroom. I walk over to the window and open the curtains. The window seal is cracked open and I can feel the ocean breeze wash over my body. I spot Finn running around the shore with a gold trident in hand. I watch as he throws it with perfect accuracy into the waves and catches two fish as if it was the simplest thing in the world.

"It's kind of of amazing how much he looks like Finnick." I hear Peeta say as he walks out of the bathroom.

"He doesn't just looks like him, Peeta." I say as I motion for him to come look at the window.

Peeta watches as Finn dives into the water perfectly, barely making a splash. He cuts through the water just like a fish; just like Finnick.

I see Peeta smile at the sight of Finn.

"He is in every way Finnick." Peeta says in a hushed tone.

* * *

Peeta and I settle into 4 pretty quickly. We eat dinner with Annie and Finn and spend some time catching up. Finn will be fifteen in a few weeks and he begins telling Peeta how he got a job with some of the other fishermen in the district. Most of the other men are in their twenties, but Finn clearly has a lot of skill and passion when it comes to the ocean. It runs in his blood. After that, Annie takes us all outside to watch the sunset. Finn takes Peeta and his trident out to the waters edge and attempts to teach Peeta how to catch fish.

I sit with Annie by the shore and squish my toes into the sand as the sun begins to drop in the sky. I look out of the corner of my eye and see Annie staring out into the ocean. Every time I am with her, I begin to notice how often she does this. It feels like a long time before she finally speaks.

"It's still hard sometimes." She begins. "Everyday when I come out here, and look at the water, it feels like apart of me is missing."

I am not sure how to respond to her words, so I just let her continue.

"People always told me that it would just take time...but it has been fifteen years and my heart still breaks everyday. I watch our son go to work at the docks where Finnick used to work, spending hours and hours bringing in fish, and then my mind immediately goes back to when I was fifteen; where I first met him. That was where I fell in love with him. I watch Peeta with you, and I see your love...you do not know how much I miss having that Katniss."

I can see that her eyes are glossy, but she does not allow those tears to fall from her eyes. I admire her strength. Annie just keeps her eyes focused on the water the entire time.

"I wish he was here everyday Annie. He loved you more than I can even comprehend, and I know he would have loved Finn just the same." I reply. "You are an amazing mother. I could only hope to be half the mom you are."

Annie smiles to herself. "He is the only thing that keeps me sane Katniss. He is the most amazing child." She tells me. "It may sound weird...but I think Finn was sent to me for a reason, almost like a reminder of Finnick. It's like his way of keeping me sane, even though he is gone."

I move in closer to Annie and put my arm around her.

"I think so too." I reply

"You're going to love it Katniss. Becoming a mother was the best thing that ever happened to me."

Annie's words have a way of calming be. They make me feel more at peace with my pregnancy, and for some reason, the ocean also adds to the calmness over coming my body.

Suddenly, we hear hooting and hollering down by the ocean. Annie and I both look up to see Peeta holding Finn's trident with a small fish speared onto the end. We both laugh and clap at Peeta's accomplishment. Finn must have some true talent if he was able to teach Peeta to catch a fish.

I watch Annie smile and blow a kiss towards her son. Finn smiles back at his mother and waves. Just as he turns back to Peeta, the sun meets the ocean and the sky fills with a bright orange that radiates not just through the sky, but into the water as well. I see Peeta drop the trident and begin admiring the sight. Even sunsets seem to take on a more stunning quality here.

"Wow, this is the first sunset in over a week. It has been so cloudy lately." Annie tells me.

I study the sky and smile as a warm sensation washes over my body. It feels nice and for the first time in a very long time, I feel completely at ease with my situation, and for some reason, I feel like this sunset seems to be connected to Finnick.

* * *

**Maybe it's just me, but every time I write about Finnick, I get emotional! Anyways thank you guys are waiting 2 weeks for this chapter. I will be back with my next chapter on October 24th. But be sure to follow my twitter TributeGirlEm for updates and sneak peeks! **


	11. Chapter 11

**I AM SO SORRY THIS IS LATE! My beta and I have been so busy lately with school that we have not had much time to spend on this! Thank you for all your support and comments. Follow me on twitter TributeGirlEm (it is so longer Emma, but Em) I tweet updates and sneak peeks on my twitter so be sure to follow! Thanks again for everything and sorry again that this is late! ENJOY**

* * *

"So how difficult was it?" I ask Annie as we sit down at the breakfast table. Because today is our last day in district 4, I've decided to take some time to talk to Annie about the pregnancy.

"Well, I'm not going to lie to you, it was painful; they call it labor for a reason."

"Oh no; I'm not worried about the pain." I tell her. "What I'm scared about is everything that follows the birth."

I watch the corners of Annie mouth turn up. She smiles at me and lets out a small laugh as she takes a sip of her tea.

"You take it one day at a time and you will be surprised how quickly your maternal instincts will come in. Plus, you have Peeta, and he's been ready to be a parent since the day you guys said I do." She exclaims.

I sigh. "I know. I'm not concerned about him whatsoever...it's just my abilities that concern me."

Annie is silent for a moment as she stares down at her mug of steaming tea.

"Katniss, when I became pregnant, people doubted me more then you could ever imagine. They told me I was unfit to raise a child, that I was crazy. Believe me, I got through it...alone...and it was the best thing that has ever happened to me. I think the mother's with the most fear end up being the best mother's in the end."

I sit back into the chair and look down at my stomach. At twenty two weeks, I am growing more and more everyday. It is a constant reminder to keep myself sane for this child inside of me.

"I hope you're right," I tell her. "I just don't want to leave. I'm going to miss these talks."

Annie smiles again and reaches her hands across the table to take mine.

"I wish you didn't have to, but I want you to know that you can telephone me anytime."

I try not to let Finnick enter my mind again, but I can't help it. It almost seems greedy for me to say I wish he was here to see my baby when he didn't even get to see his own. But it's true; I want him here. I want him to see this child because if it wasn't for him, odds are this baby would not even be here.

"Bring them here Katniss. Tell them about him; it helped me." Annie says, speaking softly as if almost reading my mind.

At first, the idea frightens me. The idea of having to inform my children about the people of my past and why they are not here anymore terrifies me. Their minds will be so innocent; how could I destroy them with the stories of what happened to Peeta and I? However, at the same time, I know they will need to know. This is not just my history, but the nations history. It is the reason the world they will grown up in will be safe and Finnick is a key figure in this story; so I suppose taking them here, to the place where Finnick grew up to be the great man he was-and still is-would be the best option. I can also picture my children running along the shoreline just like Finn does; with Peeta chasing them and making them laugh, and digging their tiny toes into the warm sand.

I'm not really sure what it is about the ocean, but it seems to have such a calming notion to it. Looking out into the water, it seems never ending. I imagine Annie would have spent a lot of time out here, staring endlessly out into the blue water during her pregnancy, because if I lived in 4, that is where I would be. I try to soak in the last bit of sun because in less then two hours, our train will be here and we will be heading back home to 12.

"Enjoying the view?" I hear a familiar voice call out from behind me.

I turn around to see Peeta standing before me, the tip of his nose pink from the sun.

"There is just something about the ocean that makes me feel at absolute peace." I tell him as he steps closer to me.

Peeta wraps his arms around my waist. I immediately rest my head against his chest and reciprocate by wrapping my arms around his waist as well. The smell of cinnamon is not as strong as it usually is, but it's still there. Mixed with the smell of the beach, it is one of the greatest scents I've ever smelt. Peeta and I stand there holding each other. The only thing that is truly between us is our baby, and right here in this moment, I could not imagine a safer place for this baby to be; right between Peeta and I; its parents; the ones who will love and care for him or her the most.

Peeta pushes the fallen hair away from my face. "I'm glad we came here. I always feel closer to Finnick at the beach." He says.

I bury my head back into Peeta's shoulder. "Me too." I reply.

I want so badly to just stay here forever in this spot and hold him. And for awhile, that's just what we do.

"I love you Katniss, and I want you to know how grateful I am for everything you are, and for everything you have given me."

No matter how many years go by, Peeta still says these things that surprise me, and make me fall harder and harder for him each time.

I pull my face out of his shoulder and look up at him. My husband; Peeta Mellark. One of the few people, who no matter the circumstance or no matter what I put them through, always stands by me. He's someone who has always loved me unconditionally, and being in a place like this with Annie, it only makes me feel more grateful to have him. I could have lost him so many times, but I didn't; we always seemed to find our back to each other.

I lean up and capture his lips with mine. I feel the steadiness that he brings to any situation.

"I love you too." I tell him, grabbing his hand and walking him down to the water.

I am wearing a flowy knee length green dress and Peeta has on a pair of khaki shorts with a collared shirt, but I don't care. I grip his hand and we walk into the warm water until it is almost up to our kneecaps. I turn back to Peeta and give him a sweet smile. I begin to lean in, going to kiss him, but instead I playfully push him and he falls on his behind right into the water. It has been a long time since Peeta and I had some fun, so I think I'll take advantage of this.

Peeta pops up from under the water, now completely soaked from head to toe. I cup my hands over my mouth to keep from laughing.

"Oh, you're in for it now!" He exclaims, rising up from the water.

I try to run away from him, but the water is too deep for me to run fast enough and the growing belly also poses new challenges. I can feel Peeta splash water in my direction and I can tell he is gaining on me. I let out a small yelp as he scoops me up and carries me deep into the water. I kick my legs even though I know it's no use; Peeta is too strong. Instead, I decide not to fight him, but enjoy these fun, playful actions that we never seem to do anymore. We both have been so stressed lately that this seems so innocent, and I love it.

When Peeta gets to about waist-deep water, he trips and we both go plunging into the water. My green dress becomes soaked and clings to my body. I feel my feet hit the ocean floor and the sticky, wet sand squish between my toes. When my head emerges from the water, I see that Peeta is still under the surface. I swim over to him and jump onto his back the second he comes up.

"Got you!" I holler, wrapping my arms around his neck.

As I look up, I see Finn run out the back door of their home. He smiles, then waves to us and darts straight for the water. Peeta stands up straight with me still on his back and moves as quickly as he can to the shore. I grip his shoulders as he runs and lean in to kiss the back of his neck. I laugh as he stumbles when my lips touch his skin and watch the goosebumps appear on his arms.

When we reach the shore, Finn takes a bucket and fills it with water and playfully dumps it on Peeta and I.

"You better run for it Finn Odair!" Peeta yells, setting me down and chasing after him.

I can hear Finn's loud laugh and think how much it even sounds like Finnick's. I watch Peeta just barely catch up to him. He gently grabs his shoulders and they collide into the ocean water. By the time Peeta even pops up from under the water, Finn has practically swam back to shore. Peeta really doesn't stand a chance to this fourteen year old in the water, but I smile because I'm sure Finn doesn't get too much male bonding time, so I'm glad he has these moments with Peeta.

"Katniss, come look at this!" Finn hollers as he reaches down into the water.

I walk over to him and see he is cleaning something small in the water.

"What did you find?" I ask, bending down to see what he is seeing.

"It's a pearl. I find them all the time...you can have it if you want." He tells me, handing me a familiar, stunning, white, round pearl.

It takes a lot to hold myself together in this moment, but I do because I do not want to concern him. He has no clue that I have such a deep connection with this. The last time someone gave me a pearl was with Peeta and Finn's father was only steps away from me.

I take the small object from his hand and place it securely into the pocket of my soaked dress. I then take Finn's hand in mine.

"Thank you Finn." I tell him. "I'll keep it safe."

He smiles at me and again it takes a lot to keep myself from crying. I would blame it on my pregnancy hormones, and perhaps maybe it does have something to do with my heightened level of emotions, but Finn's innocent actions is definitely emotion worthy.

"And whenever you see it, you can remember me and remember the beach." He adds in such an innocent, child-like voice.

"Of course. I'll remember everyday." I say standing up and not letting go of his hand.

On the car ride to the train station, I look out the window and watch the ocean the entire time. In my head, I say goodbye to it, and a goodbye to Finnick. It may seem odd to say goodbye to someone who isn't physically present, but here at the beach, his spirit is everywhere. Usually the thought of him makes me feel suffocated and upset, but I don't feel like that right now. I feel relieved and at peace; and so happy I got to come here before the baby was born.

I feel Peeta's hand run over my fingers and I grab it as we pull into the station drop off area. I give him a smile and a reassuring squeeze as we exit the car. Finn helps Peeta unload the suitcases from the back of the car and they walk us to the train. I watch other people board the train and I know we must be going, but I don't want to. I want to stay with Annie and Finn and the beach, even though I know I belong in 12.

Before I can think anymore, I feel Finn throw his arms around my shoulders.

"Thank you for visiting me." He exclaims.

He pulls away and I look at him and smile one more time.

"Whenever you guys are here...I feel closer to my father." He tells me looking down at his feet.

My eyes begin to water and I know there is no controlling my tears now.

I put my hand under his chin to force his eyes to look at me.

"You are just like him in so many ways." I tell him. "I feel closer to him when I see you."

I hug him one more time and watch as my tears land on his shoulder.

"Thank you for the pearl." I add as I pull away.

I am so happy I have gotten to see Finn grow up. From his birth to the young man he is now, it has been so astonishing to see him become the person he is. He's so much like his father, it is almost unbelievable. I know Finnick will never truly be gone because a piece of him is showcased within his son; and for that I am grateful.

Next, I turn my attention to Annie who has glossy eyes like me. I walk over and embrace her, wrapping my arms tightly around her small frame.

"Don't you start crying now too." I tell her as I hear her choke back some tears.

She lets out a small chuckle as I pull away from our hug and take her hands.

"Thank you for everything Annie." I begin.

"Oh Katniss, it was really no trouble." She tells me wiping a tear from her face.

"No, I mean for everything. You've helped me feel normal and sane when it comes to this pregnancy and that's something nobody else has done for me. That's something I really needed." I say.

Annie smiles and embraces me again. "You're going to love it Katniss. There is nothing in the world you can compare it to."

I take her words to heart and store them into my memory.

"Thank you." I add in hushed tone, just for us to hear.

I want to make sure she knows how thankful I am to have someone like her in my life; another women that I can relate to and talk to without feeling uncomfortable about my emotions.

"Stay strong." I tell her as Peeta grabs my hand, letting me know it our time to go.

"You too." She replies, placing a hand on my abdomen.

I give her one last smile before following Peeta towards the train. Despite my sadness for leaving them behind, I know that this is where they belong and I know that my place, and Peeta's place and this child's place is home is District 12. I am thrilled that I have had this precious time to spend with these two, but I also know I am really happy to get back to my home and my forest. As I walk up the steps of the train, I look over my shoulder to see Annie and Finn still watching as we walk on. I give them a wave and blow one last kiss. Finn puts his arm around his mother and they both wave back to me.

It relieves me knowing I can leave 4 and not have to be concerned about Annie. I haven't had to be concerned for her in over fifteen years. I know that Finn is her rock and that together, they will be okay.

Peeta and I enter back into our little train compartment and begin to settle in for the day. Because we are leaving 4 in the morning, we will be entering 12 at around midnight tonight.

"Katniss, I want to show you something." Peeta says as he sits down on the side of the bed, motioning for me to join him.

When I sit down next to him, he hands me our memory book.

"Open it." He tells me.

I do what he says and begin to flip threw the pages containing the faces Peeta has recreated with me. However, I quickly discover that something is different. Right after the page dedicated to Finnick, I flip it over to find Mags' loving smile. This kind old lady who sacrificed her life so Finnick, Peeta, and I could live. She is one of the most selfless people I have ever met. The memories of my short time with her come flooding back. When I turn the page again, I find another face who I will never forget. Boggs was one of the few people I trusted during my time in 13. I turn the page for a third time and am surprised at how truly unprepared I am for the tiny face that greets me. Peeta has captured every detail of her so perfectly and it amazes me because he didn't get the chance to know her like I did. However, I also know that this is not the first time he has painted her. Rue, the brilliant twelve year old who I had the great fortune to have met; who I see so often in my garden at home. At such a young age, it amazes me how much of an impact one could have, but I think about her everyday.

"Despite the sand getting into everything, the shore was the perfect place to paint." Peeta tells me as I trace the outline of Rue's small face.

"They are beautiful." I tell him "Everyone is so perfect."

I am glad Peeta had the opportunity to express himself during our time in 4. I know being there caused his emotions to run high, so painting was great for him.

"They just need your handwriting to finish them off." He adds.

So, that's what I do. As the train continues to roll on the tracks taking us home to 12, I sit at the tiny table in our compartment writing down everything that made Mags the woman she was; Boggs and Rue; the people that they were; filling the pages with my memories of them and Peeta adding his own here and there. I stop every once in awhile to eat or drink some water, but I spend the majority of this train ride getting lost in my memories, only this time in positive way.

The sky has gone dark by the time we pull into twelve. The only light is the few street laps that illuminate the roads. Peeta and I get into a car that drives us home. I personally wanted to make the ten minute hike home, but Peeta insisted we take a car because of all our luggage and the darkness of the night. However, I think that was just his nice way of not wanting his pregnant wife to have to walk all the way home. So, I agree because I know he is just trying to be thoughtful.

When we pull up in front of the house, the driver helps Peeta unload our suitcases and we make our way inside. We walk through the front door and I inhale the smell of cinnamon and pine needles; a smell that is so fitting for Peeta and I. I then realize that I am truly glad to be home.

"That was very sweet of your mother." Peeta exclaims, pointing to the basket sitting on our dinning room table.

I walk over to see a basket filled with fresh fruits, hot chocolate powder, and a bouquet of flowers. There is a small card that I pull out of the basket and I read it out loud for Peeta to hear.

_"Welcome home! I hope you had a wonderful trip. I can't wait to see your faces. Love you both-Mom."_

"Well, that was nice of her." I say, taking a large bite from one of the apples.

Peeta doesn't respond so I look over at him and find him staring at the note card smiling.

"What's wrong?" I ask, taking another bite of the apple.

"Nothing...it's just...I missed having that mother figure in my life. I never really got one." He tells me.

I give Peeta a genuine smile because I know he is referring to his own mother. She was women who gave birth to him, but never gave him the love a mother should. Now, she will never even get the chance to make up for it.

"Sometimes I think my mother likes you more then she likes me. You're like a son to her." I tell Peeta, trying to keep the tone light hearted because of the emotional weekend we've just had.

"I'm glad she's here." Peeta tells me, pulling me into an embrace.

I let him hold me for awhile and grab his hand the second he lets go.

"Let's go to bed." I tell him with a smile. "It's past midnight and you have to work tomorrow."

Peeta doesn't hesitate on my request, so we walk upstairs hand in hand and settle in for the night, right in the place I know we both belong.

I wake up the next morning and turn over to see that Peeta has gone to work. I feel bad that he had to jump right back into it after a long day of travelling, but I also know how much he missed it. Eventually, I will myself out of bed and make my way down the stairs. Not surprisingly, Peeta has left me a plate filled with fresh fruit and a homemade cranberry muffin. I'm not quite sure where he finds time to do all these things before the sun even comes up, but I'm definitely thankful for it.

After my breakfast, I take my vitamins and decide on spending my days in the woods. Peeta doesn't like when I do because I'm pregnant, but my mom seems to think it's perfectly fine, so I don't see any harm. I pack up my hunting bag and ready my bow and arrow, but right before I head for the door, I hear the phone ring. I consider ignoring it, but decide against it after a few rings.

"Hello." I answer, listening for the voice on the other line.

"Hello Katniss! Welcome home! Did you have a good trip?" My mother asks in a cheerful voice.

"Yes; it was just what we needed." I replied. "Thank you for the basket, by the way."

"Not a problem, I just missed you two."

I pause for a moment, thinking about Peetas words last night.

"We missed you too...and thank you for that as well."

"For what?" She questions, sounding confused.

"For not only having me as your daughter, but of thinking of Peeta as a son. He really appreciates that." I tell her.

I hear her chuckle slightly.

"Katniss, I've thought of Peeta as a son since the day he came to 13."

"But he was hijacked? How-"

"And that was when I saw how much it broke you. I saw how much you loved him, so I knew I would love him too. He is one in a million Katniss."

I smile at what she said. I never knew she thought of Peeta that way.

"Believe me, I know, I look at him sometimes and wonder how I ever ended up with him." I reply.

Again there is another silence, but I do hear her let out a slight sigh.

"I always said that about your father too."

I smile at the memory of my parents relationship. I often finding myself basing my own relationship off of the positive one they had shared.

"But Katniss, this is not why I called." She says suddenly, changing the subject. I am not surprised because I know my father is still a sensitive topic for her.

"I wanted to remind you that you have a doctors appointment tomorrow."

"Oh okay, what are we doing?" I question.

"Well, I think it's time we find out the gender of this baby."

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**I'm sure you guys are ready to find out the gender of this baby too! Let me know if you think it will be a boy or a girl! Thank you for reading! See you guys on November 7th! Be sure to follow on twitter TributeGirlEm for updates and sneak peeks!**


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